Dreams.: 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003

Woah...I just slept from 2pm til 8pm...hehehe...friggin soooooooo tired~! But that shouldnt be a surprise since I woke up at like....10am to clean Julie's house for the after party...ALONE!! Baby Pixie had an excuse, FateZ was being a lazy ass, Dumcat and Stickz were WAY behind schedule...idiots...So when 3 people were supposed to help clean up...it ended up that one only did. GAWD...its like I'm the only person who is trying to let everyone have a good time...whatever, its okay...I dun think many people had a good time either. A lot didnt wana drink, then stupid Johnny goes driving drunk...that FUCKING RETARD. I want to kill him still. He wouldnt even give me his fucking keys. NEVER will he be invited to anything ever again. EVER.

A lot of people who werent invited came too...but o well, it was OKAY...I was having fun actin drunk for the first while. Then everyone started getting depressed and that made everyone leave...*sigh* I mean...hell, I'm fuckin mad and depressed too ya know...but I dun wana bring everyone down at a party...frig...I know its hard to control though, so I dun hold it against the people...but MAAAAAaaaaannnn...what a bust...after sooooooo much work...well, at least Baby PIxie n I broke even with the money...

Eric Cynthia Nathan n them didnt look happy either...hahaha...but you wana know something? I really dont think I can put the effort forth to care anymore. I think about it...and all I see is work...lots of work for me...and work that I dont even know I can do anymore...

Upon further review...Prom was a total bust...No wonder I wasnt looking forward to it..

At least Vicki got drunk...lol, that was funnie...Wendy gettin drunk..not so funnie, more scary...going around biting people.

I hate being responsible...I have taking on responsiblity cause no one else will...I hate sooooooooooo much...
I kinda feel like writing a poem about how crappy life is...lol...

We'll see if I can think of something...
I'm glad some other people had fun at prom, so it wasnt such a piss off for everyone else...
Thx to shem for givin up his pic tix at prom for a pic of 'the gang', that was really nice of you, n it wun go unnoticed like many things I do.
Thx to people who tried to help setup?
Special special thx to Baby Pixie for lettin her house be raided by a bunch of freaks. Glad we broke even, n broke nothin too.
Thx to Flora for stayin up with me til 7am and carin' bout dumcat wit me..
Thx to the people who chased Johnny down.

I'd also like to point out, I was right in wanting a small party.

I told you so.

*sigh*
Prom was alright eh guys?

At least we all looked very nice, good job everyone~! I'll post some pix later...I'm lazy right now...

Peace.

Oh my god...
You know how hard it is to make people who dont work, work!?

Planning is such a big ass piss off...you guys better appreciate this.

Reminder for all those who are reading, bring 5 bux for the party, for food and drinks, even if you arent drinking or eatting. I dun think 5 bux is much to ask for, its for the good of everyone else.

I am sooooooooo tired right now...at least my hair dun take hours to dry like Julie, but ya...
Appreciate that I've cleaned her basement for you guys, cause really...it was mostly me.

Gawd I'm so tired and irritated. People who i've told to come at 4 tomorrow, BETTER be there AT 4.
We have much work to do...

Oh my godddddesssss...

I friggin saw AP today in Loblaws...gawd she's fuckin beautiful............*sigh*
She's so amazing...I wana cry...if only I had a way to talk to her...just to talk to her...I dun care if some of you people think she's 'fat' or not pretty, you're all WRONG...o myyyyy gggaaaawwwwddddddddddd......................Just cause she isnt a stick like other girls...it makes her so much better =) *sigh*

Okay, I guess I kinda do want a gf...but AP is just a crush...from grade 6 =P Maaaaaaan....she's so pretty...hehehehhe =) And we looked at each other when we walked by...even though I know she was only lookin cause she was probably thinkin..."Hey, its a guy from school"...or maybe "Hey, its that crazy kid that liked me a long time ago and gives me weird stares" lol...iuno...but maaaaan...she's so hotttt...Okay...not to everyone, but to me...and thats all that matters...*sigh* she looks like she's such a nice person tooooooooo...I wish I had a chance to find outttt...just a chance...even though I kinda got my eyes on another girl right now, this one will always be in my mind...*sigh* Too bad she's older too...but I dun mind older girls =)

AHHHHHHhhhhh....why do I keep thinkin bout girls so much lately....maybe cause I said I'd swear off'em for a while...but then...iuno...I keep seein possibilites, and I like'em...but BLAH. Okay...I'll just see how things go =)

So anyways...
I went to the bank today...(some bank tellers are really hot...one that looked like a car model, and today one that had that whole...'girl next door' look going on for her, she served me today, hehehe) and I took out bout 700 bux...boooo...my balance has no dropped below 3000...stupid mom wanted me to take it out...so now I gota put it into a diff bank...so I can get a card or smthg...Iuno..blahbalbhab...but I liked having a 3000 balance........GHAOIFHAOIFH, also, my parents took out the money to get the new car...PT Cruiser~ Iuno, i kinda like it, even though other ppl say its ugly =P Screw you alL! I'm right =P

Anyways....
Still hungry, so I go eat

Peace~

Happy Prom tomorrow =)

Not that I'm depressed or sad again or anything, but I really wana disappear still =P Iuno...so much work...

Gawd, I just keep blogging, I dont know why...I just keep thinkin' and I cant stop. Dont get me wrong, I like to think, and ya...I think my brain gets a giant work out from it, but is exhausted when it comes to school, maybe I should rest it...lol, how though?

O wells...
I dont know what to do right now...I feel badly for some people, and good for some other people, bad for others and good for other people too...I dont know whats even going on...I'm so tired...yet no sleep cause of Cheemmmmmm....I could just fail the quiz...but why would I do that?? Once prom is over, everything should be good, I think anyway.

Relationships.....always such a messy issue for so many people......AHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I'm sure I could get one if I really wanted to...not to be cocky, sorrie if I'm coming off like that but I'll inform you of when i'm being cocky, but anyways...ya...I kinda do want one, but I dont. I dunooooo...unless I find a nice girl like piper...hehehe...so caring, and loving, and all that goodness...even if they were ugly, I dont care, as long as they have the same personality of piper from charmed...She's so perfect...like...Frig...or maybe its just cause its so evident that she loves Leo...I dont think I've ever felt love...well, people loving me like that...cept parents n family of course...iuno...

Its different though...my family...like, I know thye love me, and I do love them...but its not the same as friend love, or girlfriend/boyfriend love...
Iuno, talking bout love, really does make me want a girlfriend...but then...at the same time, I dont...cause...I do like to be protective, and look out for her...but then sometimes its just no fun. I need a girl that can hold her own, and be independent and strong. Iuno...why am I even thinking about this right now?

Relatinoships are messy....maybe if I were to get into one, and things were just laid back, no huge commitments or anything..things would be better. Just living for the moment and what not =)

Anyways....maybe I'll act on my impulses...we'll see...

night for real this time

Superficiality...(is that a word?)

I had no idea so many people are so superficial...of course, we all are to some extent, so not to make everyone think that I'm trying to be god all mighty, saying I'm better than you all, cause I am superficial too~ Not to the extent that some people are...you know who you are~ but ya..I dont see why somethings are so important to people...Like...I have to do this before I get out of High School, or I have to do this before I get into University. That stuff all seems...so pointless when you have our whole life ahead of you to do whatever you want. I dont know, I know I care about doing somethings before I leave high school, but I still wont settle for things if I dont get the one I want, if you know what I mean. We dont have to compare ourselves to other people either, though we all do, why does it matter?

I dont know why I'm saying this, lol, but I just think some people rush things far too much, and really should stop n smell the roses (for the lack of a better analogy). Notice everything around you, life is more than just one thing you may be fixated on obtaining. I actually feel very...naturie right now...and I kinda wana go on a hike. I feel like spending a lot of time outdoors...I havent a clue why...but I have the sudden urge. Just to be in nature...but then again I'm an odd one.

Anyways,

After party...whats going on? People, please stop asking me whats going on =P I'll tell you when I find out, and everything is planned, until then, just chill out~ Thx to the people who offered to help, I appreciate it, but Julie n I got it from here. Its gonna suck not to get drunk =P

*sigh* I'm not sure I'm going to have a great time...I have a feeling I'm going to be sitting in the corner sippin some sorta alcohol, thinking...why is everyone speaking chinese...I'm not going to understand anything, but whatever =P Its all good, I could always just sleep. Iuno even how long we're gonna be there for...or where there is even...*sigh* 20 fobs...and all the CBC's generally gota leave early...so that isnt gonna be very fun for poor non-chinese-speaking bradley...but the big party aint for me, its for Felix n Julie n who ever else wanted a big party.

Anything else I gota say?...Lets see...

Dontcha just love it when I'm right? I know I do =)

Gawd damned Calculus...........GAWD DAMNIT....
It makes me sleepy, and bored...
Why does it seem so much easier when GT teaches me and not Lim? Iuno...
Whatever...

School sux
Llalaallaalal

I'm sleepy.

Woah...that X-Men Quiz, pretty accurate =P I am like that...
FateZ is like Jubilee...hehehe =P

So anyways...I dun wana do calculus today...no one is gonna be home til late, so maybe I'll be stupid and run around the house half naked and be stupid, hahah =P
Or run outside in the rain half naked, thats always fun...It should rain sometime soon anyways =)

Today was actually a good day. Things are better, for now =P I dont wana jinx it...*knocks on wood*...

Well...its interesting to see how people are...
I really categorize people by elements sometimes eh? lol...
I'm a freak like that...like...ex. me, water...moody. emotional, that kinda thing.
or...felix, fire, passionate, stuff like that...
or spencah, wind, active, social, everywhere at once, cant stand still, lol
or julie, earth, constant, stubborn, motherly. ya kno that stuff =P

ya, I'm freakish, hahahaha =P

Neways, GT TIME...AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!

Peace =P~

You are Storm!

You are very strong and very protective of those
you love. You are in tune with nature and are
very concerned with justice and humanity.
Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears
are very hard for you to overcome, and can
often inhibit you when most need to be strong.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yelling at random people makes me feel good.

Someone walked through the door when I opened it towards me, before I could go through and I yelled back "FAGGOT!!!"
Someone hit my bag and kinda made me spin, I yelled back "BITCH!!"

It was nice.

*sigh*
The thing on Julie's blog...ya, thats nice...I had such a great time when I was a kid...
I remember soooooooo many great things and almost NO bad things...the only bad things I can remember was the occasional scrape or cut on my knee or legs from riding my bike too much =P I loved to play outside, and just be happy with my great friends...always playing, always being active...

And then there's our current situation...
I look around, no one is happy, genuinely happy. I see anger and despair wherever I go...Life is so miserable for people now...well, many people. But I will do my job...I will be strong, I will take the hits for the team..

Steal, cheat, hate, hit, laugh, or do anything bad you want to me...just do NOT lie to me. I hate liars with a passion. If I find out people are lying to me...well, lets put it this way, Hope I dont find out you're lying to me.

And no more telling people how I feel, it doesnt work, it just serves to humiliate me when people dont recipricate. So I just keep it in, and be happy, not like you'll know the difference anywayyyyyyy

*sigh*
I just wish everything would come to an end. I mean I'm not pissed off or anything right now, its just...everything is so tedious and tiring. I mean...friendships, I have to work and put effort into those when other people dont, school, thats just all work, and prom...so much more work. I'm just tired to the point where I wana collapse. =P Alright, something has to give...I duno if I can keep this whole thing up. I mean, I'm trying so hard not to be mad, I really am, and so far its working, but iuno...there's just so much that bugs me...I cant go back to normal...i dont even know what normal is anymore. I feel that my moody-emotional side is 'normal' right now...Hopefully just a phase? Well...I've learned lots from it at least...so ya...at least there are pro's to this? A big ass con however, is that I dont know how to get out of it. *sigh*

Everyone else is having problems, and its so hard to stay...collected and try and help them without being mad yourself. Boy o boy...what I would do to not have to care...honestly, you people who dont, have it so easy. Its, I want that, I dont care about other people, I just want that. Why do I even care? Why do I even try to be nice? Good questions, with no answers...it just simple is. As Dumcat colourfully puts it "Thats just the way I am". I know its a 'good' thing, but not when you have to do it so often...I really feel the burnt out. I dont know how other people can still be happy? Well, at least today was a day of relative happiness for me.

AHhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
I will try to keep up the 'whatever' attitude so I dun kill someone, and so that other people wont be mad...but I'll still try to help people...
Why do I even want to help people?
Gawd...I should really think about that deeply one day...perhaps later...or now...but I wun blog about it right nwo...

Gawdddddddddddddddddd...
Law man...
Why do I gota try and be so polite n nice sometimes...
I shoulda just interjected when Meredith was talking, cause I knew the answers, but I gave it to her...
*sigh*
It just didnt seem nice to just go...BLAH let me stop you, cause you're wrong.

Iuno.....................
Whatever, at least its over =)

I'm in a very whatever mood right now.

But whateverrr =P

Peace~

Woah, I feel a lot better now.
My hair is cut and my mommy taught me all her 'beauty tips' lol, or just stuff to get rid of these stupid lil zits before prom...nice nice =)
I hope it works =P
Gawd my hair is nice now =) It feels so light and freeeeeeeeeeeee...

Its a great change to be happy....I mean woah...I havent felt good in a while! *sigh*
Gota wear a suit tomorrow for Mooooot Court...boooooo =P
People are gonna be all...what the hell!? Well, I'm telling you now...Moot Court, I wear suit...so shoosh!...bitches.

So anyways, I'm tired...but gota work on law more...blah blah lbah

I love having my hair cut...it feels sooooo nice and freeeeeeeeeeee...not to mention better lookin when its short..heheh...

Okies, time for sleep~

You kno what song is really sad and makes you think?

Green day - Time of your life

You know...I really really wana be able to look back on these days that we've all spent together and say...woah...we had a lot of fun! US together, not with our boyfriends or girlfriends...but friends! Gawd...this song makes my damn eyes water...cause I think about what we've all done, and ya, we've had a lot of fun...but this is our 'last' year together right? And look...we're all upset and fighting and in pain...why cant we just all be happy? Maybe its me thats causing all these problems...but frig...is it so much to ask for good friends that care about you? I dont think so...maaaaaaaaaaaaaan...

Can we honestly just screw everyone else and focus on 'the gang'...I just want to have good memories with you guys...

If we all get into university...how often are we going to see each other? I mean...cant we make the time we spend together good? And not worry about other people cause you notice that 'the gang' consists of the usual people, Baby Pixie, Fatez, Dumcat and me...and we do have great times together...lately...not so much...its all arguing and bickering and crying and yelling...

Iuno...download the song...and listen to it...think about the good times...maybe that'll help us all...=/

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf of good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I hope you had the time of your life."

I'm really gonna miss you guys next year if we dont see each other...
................

Alright...
Here's the plan, I'm just gonna suck it all up and do what I always do, because these problems are my close friends too much. Sorrie Julie...but I'm just gonna be my usual self and take it, cause no one else is willing to sacrafice anything for our friendships, so ya, I can take it. Do I want to? Not really, no, but will I for my friends to keep them happy? Of course. You know I cant stand when people are sad, especially when people cry, so ya, I give, I'll come out with you guys whenever people I dont like are still there, just dont cry!! Its not that bad...I've done it a lot before, I can do it now.

So in the end, you get what you want Dumcat, things'll go back to how they were before~

Peace~

Well, today was pretty good =P
Thanks for listenin' to my spew about everything Catherine~ Iuno how fairly you can judge all these problems only hearing my side...but thanks for agreeing with me. Its good to see that some people actually understand what I'm thinking. Thx for providing your house and car today too Ryan =P Gota love the scary tooth fairy going...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!! lol Had a good time, got my mind of stuff =) Thx guys~ We should hang out more often =P

I hope the rest of you guys had a good time at the movies~

Peace~

Things WILL be better one way or another.

Dumcat has promised me he will try to change things for the better and I have promised myself that I wont care as much for everyone. I can understand to some degree how having the person you like ahead of your friends is alright, but NOT as much as Dumcat does. I place the person I like above my friends too, but only far enough above to show that I really really care for them. I dont make them seperated by a giant barrier that says, I like you, and I like you as a friend. In my world it's...I like you, and therefore you get first choice of what you want me to do, friends get me 2nd, but still all of me...I've already went over this with Dumcat, so I dont know why I'm regurgitating it onto my blog.

God damnit!!! I think I'm a pretty good person to go around caring and sacraficing myself for people, and in the end, breaking down like I have the passed few weeks. To think that I'm not as important as someone that doesnt care the way I do, is obsurd!! To think, I give up so much, and I try so hard to be a good person for everyone's sake and get nothing from it...absolutely nothing. Its not that I want something physical in return, just some appreciation, perhaps some attention for what I do. I get none, whatever.

And I know you all know me as someone who doesnt like people for a reason. And generally I will have several reasons before I declare my hatred or dislike for somebody. I'm not asking you to join me in disliking, I'm just asking you to be tolerant and understanding of why I dislike someone, and what I am going to do about it. Most of you know me well enough that I wont just randomly hate someone, pre-judging them before I know them, generally, people I dont like are bad people in my eyes. You know who i'm talking about, trying to defend them only undermines all that I've put together. I accept that you guys would like to befriend that person, but I refuse for my reasons I've told you, respect that as I respect your decision. (Also, I'd like to point out, that I've always seemed to dislike people before everyone else started to, as I notice details before others generally speaking). Does this mean I will always not like him? Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter? Not to me, I dont need more friends, I am content with the few good ones I have.

Quality, not quantity. Though some people may be concerned with being popular (HAH!), it doesnt matter to me at all. I've had my fair share of a little popularity, and I dont care for it. It serves to inflate one's ego, which just turns people into pompus, stuck up, cocky bastards. On that note, I will leave and go clean up the house~ =P

Okay...iuno...

Solution for situation...I have none...the only thing I can think of is depend on Dumcat to be a better friend...if that doesnt work out, everything is just gonna crumble...Unless I take precautions...which I will have to think up.

I guess we had an alright time tonight...Thx spencer for payin for meh =P

Lotsa thinking to do...=/

I dont know what to do...
I dont know what I want...
I only know, I need a change...
A drastic gigantic change.

Honestly...every fucking thing that comes to me...pisses me off...I cant even be optumistic anymore...I have no hope, no light to pull me through the darkness...Fatez...you have been a really good friend after I talked to you, and I really appreciate it...I told you something was wrong...and you changed, you really seem to care, and its wonderful...thanks you so much for that and also thank you to Ruby and Vicki for being there, although Vicki spent most of her time trying to defend people and which served to infuriate me more, thank you for caring...but it doesnt help nearly enough...I'm still not...able to do anything except yell and bitch at somethings that piss me off...Note, if you piss me off sometime soon, I guarentee you WILL hear about it. And it WILL get ugly.

I do NOT appreciate people going around saying that I am jealous of someone who I am not. It is demeaning of me, and it just boosts your ego even more. How dare you assume I am jealous? I have reason to be upset, and I am upset for those reasons alone. Do NOT assume anything about people you do NOT know and spread it around. That is extremely rude and cocky of yourself. At least when I talk to people, I will say, I THINK this, or it seems like this, as I am still watching to make sure I do not make false statements. Hmmph...you definately need to deflate your ego if you think that I am or ever would be jealous of you.

There are many things that are wrong in this world...many of which I cannot change...and fine, I accept that. However, I will not sit by idle while something is going wrong. I WILL do something about it, whether it benefits or restricts myself. Life is cruel...I dont need people to make it worse. Especially my close friends.

I am, and will be irritated, mad, upset etc etc. until I find a solution. The only thing I can think of at the moment is to disappear into different groups and eventually fade away. I know that would be fine, because as I observed you today, you were all fine without me, and seemed to be content. This solution seems optimal at the moment. Perhaps I will think of another later...if it involves little work, I may put it into action. I have no effort left to work at anything.

To get an image of how angry I was last night...I my entire body was shaking with rage. I couldnt see straight because even my head was shaking because of my body. I hope none of you know how that feels, to be so consumed with anger, but regardless, I am still mad now.

Time does not heal all wounds for me...Time opens them and picks at them until they bleed more...I need a solution, and I need one fast...before I think more.

Its funnie...
Some people think you need time to think things over to calm you down...
Its the opposite for me...the more I think, the more angry I will become. Well, nevertheless, I think I have a plan that will satisfy us all.
So...yah.
Peace~

Sometimes I wish I could fly...
Spread my wings and soar away...
And I'd never return back to this crazy love life that always pushes me away...

Alright
Its official, i suck at tennis...

Hai...life is such a piss off...No university acceptence with my crappy average...I'm officially stupid too, cant do calculus, cant do law, cant do chem...
Cant catch a ball anymore...cant hit a ball with a gawd damned tennis racket...cant do anything...cant even be tolerant to friends. I'm giving up now too...so whatever...he doesnt care, so why should I? Fine, I'll sink to everyone elses level of not caring...dont expect anything out of me...dont expect help..dont expect advice...dont expect...anything but 'meh...'

Time to do law...

Oops...
To clarify, I'm not mad...just disappointed, and tired.

It's really hard to control your temper when you're upset, but Imma try...

Life is full of many tough choices, and you gota live with the ones you make.

I'm just going to drop whatever shreds of optumism I have left, cause that's what really gets to me the most. Hai...whatever, I'm good, no worries!

Peace~

Okay, I know I said I'd not blog as much...but whatever, I guess I am =)

*sigh*
I'm becoming a little dependent on someone...its kinda sad, I've never been like that for friends...I mean...the way I am for this one. It feels weird...but good? But I really dont like being dependent very often...

Ya know...I'm having a pretty weird identity crisis right now...
See...there's the stupid gay, cocky, mean, brutally honest, moody, emotional side of me that I keep expressing around certain people...but then there's the other side of me thats nice, goodie goodie, friendly, helpfull, smart kid...There is a common thing in both identities that is for sure me...caring for friends and family and trying to help people and stuff like that...but then...what am I?...I'm a bit of all of them all of the time...but sometimes I'm one, and sometimes I'm the other...lately I've been mean cocky stupid gay brutally honest moody emotional brad...with the occasional nice streak to some people. I dont know...I thought I knew who I was...then I think I was influenced to be cocky, and mean and stuff...Sad thing is...I really do like the 'dark' side of me...it is really fun to be mean cocky and moody...okay, not so much moody, but mean and cocky. But I also like to be nice...

So what am I...? A mixture of these? So....mean nice cocky honest moody emotional nice helpful goodie goodie friendly and smart? I think not...a lot of those contradict each other...*sigh*

I dont know who I am anymore...time to re-think my whole position in life, and what joy that will be.

Damnit...that picture scares me...IT KEEPS STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!! Okay...I scrolled down, I cant see it anymore..=P Sorrie Keith, you were staring at the camera directly and it scared the living bejebus out of me!!

Anyways, time for some deep thoughts from the mind of me...

Well, I was thinking...how do you ever know if someone is genuinely what they are? I know only when I have a certain feeling about them...and things will fit...however, there are some people who I am still questionable on. Do they have ulterior (spellin?) motives? Some really seem like they do, others I know they do. I wonder if they know I can see right through'em =P Maybe I should help'em out? Ahh but no will power to do so right now...hell, I gave up on a LOT of things today. I mean little things...like a warcraft game, i was like...this is retarded...quit. And arguing with Fatez n Dumcat bout stupid stuff, i just gave up cause I was tired. So maybe I can give up on other things more easily now. Which is comforting, because I didnt think I could before~ Not that I plan on giving up, its just I think I might be able to, if i'm tired enough. This doesnt have reference to you Dumcat, you're doing...OKAY...I guess...OKAY is borderline...but ya, you need to do work n...'stuff' so i'll leave you be...seeing as I'm feeling a lil better. So anyway...how do you know when someone is real? I tend to watch their every move...see what they do wrong, and what they do right...balance the probablities...ya know...but when will I actually know? A question I need to think about...I guess until they prove me wrong? We'll see...As Vicki says "Only time will tell..."

Eyes are kinda stinging...which is new...cause I'm normally very awake around the computer...maybe cause I missed my nap cause of GT.

Yet another pic from Eric's Birthday party...
I personally like the pink and purple words the best =) Mwahahaha =P
More to come to humiliate more friends on this lovely blog of mine...=)
Probably another by the end of the night...I am very bored and not feeling like doing hwk

*sigh*

Its really depressing for me when I cant help someone...It makes me feel so rotten inside. The worst feeling ever...Helplessness...No matter how hard I try, there are just somethings I cant help with...and it kills me that I cant help take all the pain away from some people..I know its unrealistic of me, but who cares if its unrealistic, the very least I can do is try right? Iuno...well, everyone knows, if you got problems, I will always ALWAYS be here for you, no matter what time of the day, no matter what I'm doing, no matter who you are...even if I dont like you, I'm willing to help...to some extent...=P

Well...life is so complicated for so many people...and though I'd love to think i'm always right (and I am a lot =P) I know that I'm not...when it comes to certain things anyway...I am right in general when people ask me for advice =P Example of Gil with the car...

Gil to Brad: "Ya, I take the car out without my parents knowing all the time"
Brad to Gil: "You know...you shouldnt do that...I really hope you're careful, dont get into an accident!!"
Gil to Brad: "I wont, dont worry"
Brad to Gil: "Alright...but I would suggest you dont take the car out tomorrow...its icy"
The next day...
Gil to Brad; "Crap! I spun out"

Iuno...people dont like to listen to me...though they ask for my help...it'd be nice if they listened...hahah...well, i kno some people do, and thanks to those of you who do =P

Anyways....i should probably head to bed as soon as my hair dries...which should be...a few min =)
Nights~

Its sad to see that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is gone as of today...*sniff*

It was a really good show, though I lost interest in it last year. Series Finale was good though =) I love how they mentioned Trogdor the Burninator!!!! from Strong_bad e-mails. lol!! I gota download it though cause I missed the good fight scenes flippin between Smallville and American Idol...

Man can those guys sing...I wish I could like that, be rich =P
MWahahahaha

Okies, enough blog for now, so not to strain Julie's eyes.

Anyways...
I'll stop blogging as much, as someone says I blog too much~! *cough* Pixie *cough*

btw, You suck Dumcat...I hate you!! You know why =P...bitch =P

So ya...caring less...would be so great if I could. But then its the whole, if you cant beat'em, join'em, thing...which I refuse to conform to. Whoever said that...should be...punished...severly...or something...cant think right now...

Anyways...my conclusion from hours of thinking has come to this...
What's my purpose in life? To help people. How? Anyway possible..but even after all the things I've done...I dont feel I've really helped anyone...like...iuno...like...the people that people dont like, are still unliked, and I havent done anything about it...because I'm still wrapped up in not liking them too. Its so hard to try to help someone fit in...and especially when you dont like them yourself, its so easy to want to throw in the towel...Right now...Its like I've just put everything on pause cause I dont wana do it...I try...but stop cause its just too...tedious, annoying, and it really pisses me off...but if I cant help the people I dont like so that at least maybe they can change themselves to be better people later so other people will like them...iuno where I'm going witht his...

Its hard to things alone...

Lalalala...school sucks ass...I'm tired...got like 75 on my law test...
well...if you average all the marks...75+75+70+100 = 80...so yay I guess?
but gawd knows it doesnt spread into those catergories with school system.

haiya..I've been thinking a lot...as usual...
Last night in particular...and I was thinking...wouldnt life be so much better if I didnt care so much? Like...I wouldnt be so...GRRRRrrrrr...all the time...and I could maybe be happy for more than a day...*sigh* I cant not care...not in me...lame...o well, time for wc3

Combat Gamer

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Another day down the tube, and what did I do?
Clean, wait for people, lalalala...how fun for me, to be ultimately ditched in the end. hahahah, whatever. So I have crap friends.
I acknowledge that Vicki and Felix cared and said to come get me anyway and called. Still, everyone failed tonight. O wells. Tough break.

I will also restate that the melding of groups of friends, is not a good thing to do. People dont like people, and you should stick with one group. I'll explain this to the person I'm referring to later on.

So anyways,
At least I'm not as pissed off anymore, and I can actually type without swearing every other word. But tomorrow...I'll see some people's priorities. So...best of luck to you all...you'll need it.

Hmm...though things are cleared up a bit, I still feel rather anti-social...I guess I just wana be with my 'close' friends...and not have to make new ones. Or maybe the ones that know the REAL me only...if you know what I mean. Meh? Whatever, I guess I'm staying home tonight too, hopefully get my computer reformatted or something...at least get something accomplished today after all the waiting for people to be ready...that really bugs me. Waiting for people. Whatever, I'm just gonna not wait for people anymore, go do some stuff alone or whatever.

Another thing, I dont like LIARS. They bug the fuck out of me, how do you lie to someone so blantently!? Its obvious from actions what you want and what you think. You bug the FUCKING SHIT out of me. Okay, maybe I am mad. Considering ALL i have been doing is waiting for people today, WHO CANCEL ON ME. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'm only FUCKING HUMAN. Whatever...WHATEVER. I dont need any of you people. None of you. Fuck you all.

O ya, also changes in plans bug me. I know some are un-avoidable, but it also kinda shows inconsiderate-ness, and selfish-ness. Depends on the changes. I know somethings are un-avoidable, but it'd be nice for people to stay with what they say they were gona do...but I guess thats never gonna happen and I should stop hoping for that. Meh. I'm tired anyways, maybe I'll sleep earlier.

I forgot to add something to that racism thing. If you want to say your moronic racial slurs around me, fine, I dont care, but I hope that people dont discriminate against you for rumoured problems, or stereotypes from your culture and completely insult your entire race, family and culture. I know I wont defend you, because you do it to other people. You might as well go up to someone of a different race and say..."Hey, I think everything your family basis its life around, is stupid, and you're stupid" cause thats basically what you're doing. So, ya, do what you wana do infront of me, I wont smack you anymore, I'm tired of it, but think about what you're doing first.

Damn racists.

O ya...also had a bone to pick about racism tonight...
As many of you may know...my lovely friends love to make racial jokes...
Especially when I ask them to reframe from their racial slurs when I am around...You know...There are soooooo many reasons why you shouldnt do that, but let me tell you the main reason that I dont do it. Well...let me just...ya, put my thoughts down

Have you ever been discriminated against because you were whatever race you were? Most likely cause you were chinese? Yes? I'm sure you have, but not to a strong degree. Did you like it? I should hope you didnt. I am fortunate enough to not have been discriminated against because of my race to a strong extent either. One of my main reasons for not being racist to people is because I believe that people should "Do onto others, as you would have others do onto you". You know I live by that, and how would you like it if a group of people kept talking shit about us? The chinese. How would that make you feel? Cause maybe they dont know us, maybe they're using stereotypes just to make jokes. Jokes at our expense. I ask you again, Have you ever been discriminated against? No, not to the extent my mother has before. Not to the extent my father was before. You forget, Canada wasnt a friendly place for asians until 1949. Later for the Japanese.

I understand you may not understand what my parents went through here, and my parents parents. You all know my family has lived in Canada for 3 generations now, going onto its forth. My mom got taunted and teased and insulted in school for being chinese, my father as well. Though my mother was strong, and chased the people down and beat them (literally) thats not the point. A lot of people in Canada are fighting for equality ya know that? One of them being me, your friend. And when you make those racial comments, it demeans all that these people are trying to do. Thats right, EQUALITY. E-Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y. Everyone here is equal, and deserves the common decency not to be prejugded by their race.

Yes, I know I'm uptight, and I know I get upset easily about this, but as I've said before, one person CAN make a difference. If you stop being racist, then hopefully your friends will stop. You cant just simply write it off as "Racism will always exist, so why not do it" With that attitude, the world is going to hell in hand basket. If you dont fight for what you believe to be right, or what you KNOW is right, then whats the point in living at all? Lets just let the majority make the decision for us...because they must be right....cause you know...Hilter had a LOT of people on his side, they must be right, so Canada and US and England should have just let them kill the Jewish people. Why? Because they are the majority, and will always have someone existing there. How about anti-racists? We exist, and will always exist, why not help us?

I hope you understand why I get so irritated when you guys make such racial comments. And by the way...that Jewish joke with the pizza...was WAY out of line.

Just what I think, take from it what you will.

Happy Birthday Eric~!

Good party~ I hope you enjoyed it =)
I'll post some pix later =)
Hehheehhe...

Iuno...
Tonight was good...it was pretty...good...ya...lol.
Havent really understood what happened...but it was cool?
Although...I'm very tired and hurt...it was funnie.
N then...I was happy again.
Killin time now...lol...boredom...me no wana play pokemon.
Shieeeeeet.....

Friggin' gross...
Every night I normally keep my window closed right? and then all these bugs came in tonight when i opened it ONCE...
Like...they're friggin EVERYWHERE...GAWD...
I cant stannnnnnnd bugs...Fuckin hell..=/
XD

Kill meeeeeeeeeeee...bugs scare the living shit out of me...a fuckin like...centipede on my pillow and fuckin earwig on my floor...and bee on the ceiling...and misquito flying around...gawd...no west nile please..........I will never again open my window at night...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........
YUCK...

Okies...nvm, people were at K contest or something...?
I hear Peter won first place, GO DAD!! =P

Anyways, saw Matrix 2 tonight...I thought it was pretty good...but other people didnt share the same opinion as me =P
They had a LOT of action, (obviously computer animated, but it was pretty good! I couldnt tell if it was really Keanu Reeves when it was the computer, cept for when his coat went flying...really could tell that wasnt real fabric =P

But i thought it was pretty good...lots of fighting! LONG action scenes...the multiplying dude got kinda tedious and boring...but the rest was nice.

Maybe I'm just amused easily by lots of violence =P

okies, time for wc3

peace

*yawn*
I'm bored...and I dont know where everyone is...no one's on ICQ...what the heck is that? o_O

O wells...
I guess I am staying home tonight~

Well...
Things are a little better after yelling at Dumcat. I dont expect grand changes in your character...yet, but minor ones are expected. A consistent effort put forth to be a good friend is what I'm lookin' for. This isnt only for my good, but also for yours too and your future friends. Remember all the things we talked about...see what you can do to change them, hopefully I will be able to help you...

Notice there's a new quote up there.
"Give me one firm spot on which to stand, and I will move the Earth" - Archimedes

I thought it was nice, I got it from Charmed =P I'm feeling that I agree with it right now. I just need a strong base, and I will be able to change this world...
I will.

Relationships...
Why are they so sought after? Whats so important about it? I really dont see that much of an importance in it right now. If it happens, it happens, I'd let it go, but I duno...to deliberately force it...or to always want it...I'm not sure about that...I'm not sure about many things lately...

One thing I'm sure of is that I'm a mess, and need some sorta therapy =P I wonder if I should really go to that school councellor chick...or..uhhb...dude?

Yaa...That'd be cool, I could also ask how to get into that kinda work...hehehe, cause I wana do it. AHhhhhhhhhhh......I like the idea of going back to Karate for 5 years, getting my 2nd degree black belt, and Tim going back to taikwan do, and getting his teaching level belt, and then we go open a school that teaches both...or we could make up our own style!! Yo, that'd be sooooo wicked, a combo of Karate and Taikwan do =P Though my Sensei taught us different styles already...it'd be so crazy! I think thats more worth it than going to University...cause its my own business right? And then I could just hire people to teach with me after I expand and everything, then I just watch the money roll in...mahhwha...How nice would that be...frig. Better than all this schooling and crap.

I'm obviously procrastinating, stupid law stuff I gota do that makes me tired...
BLAH

Time to go do some work...

Ya ya ya.

I over-reacted today with the whole leaving Vicki alone thing, but you know you do NOT leave her alone with someone she's met online. You never know what they are thinking...Vicki, you know how my sister's experience turned out. She talked to him a lot too, she thought she knew him, and look what kinda person he turned out to be?! I'm just trying to protect you, and it appears that no one else was willing to do that.

Gawd, I'm so fucking frustrated with everything and everyone right now. You know, if you gimme crap, I'm gonna give it back to you 10-fold. Gawd...the over-reacting today was just an example of thin I've been streeched lately.

FUCK!!!
I've never felt emotions like this before...
I was extremely sad a few days ago, and then extremely in love, and then extremely mad right now.

I want to end this all.

Hmm...
I seem to be extremely easily aggitated right now by certain people. I have reasons, but I shouldnt be like that, with the whole trying to be the 'bigger person' and all. Maybe I will change myself too, I still wont accept less than my standards, but I think I'll just give up the whole caring thing too, cept to the people that deserve it or appreciate it. Hopefully I'm capable of doing that. Its funnie that some friends dont say anything, even though I'm pretty sure they know what's wrong. Asking if something is wrong, is the VERY least you could do for a friend if you truly care. VERY least. Being persistent when asking, proves you really do care. Knowing that something is wrong, and making an effort to change, shows a little care. Making a constant effort and trying hard shows that you really really care. I see this from some people. Maybe I cant judge this that well cause everyone has a lot of work, and maybe this is just a result of my own stress from school too, but that doesnt mean that I'm totally wrong.

As I was telling Preston earlier today, though I am not suicidal, that I wouldnt mind dying. It would actually bring me a lot of peace. Dont get worried, I'm NOT going to kill myself, who's that much of an idiot? But I honestly would not mind being killed, or not having to wake up to this constant onslaught of shit that I gota keep taking. From school, from friends, its just too much for me. I know this MAY sound suicidal, but trust me, I'm not. Its just I wouldnt mind not being alive is all. Its just so torturous...every moment being so pissed off, annoyed, and no one seeming to notice or care, then doing bad in school, and all this work and still doing bad. I just dont want to have to deal with it. I know its a cowardly and selfish thing to think, just die and leave everyone else to deal with it, but I cant help what I feel.

Hai...well, I'm sure other people have gone through this crap, but I feel all alone in it. Wahtever, I always feel alone, so it doesnt matter~

So anyway.
I was thinking about that whole being a player and whatever, and its not really me =P I see how bad leading people on can be, and ya, I dont plan on doing it in the near future. I believe I do have feelings for someone, however weak they may be, they are still there. So its not leading on =P However, if a certain someone is leading on a friend of mine, then I think I might have to have a word with that person. If you know who you are, and know I'm talking about you, then you better stop it, cause its gonna end up hurting the person in the end if you really are leading them on. And I dont want to have to do the comforting for that. Though I probably will have to, its besides the point. I dont enjoy comforting people that have been lead on. Stop it now if you are, if you arent, and you really do like this person, then by all means go ahead and admit it for fuck's sakes! Its annoying. Go out, or go away.

On a lighter note, I've come to a conclusion, a conclusion many of you will hear about, in particular, one person. Like it or not, this is my decision, and you're going to have to deal with it, or rather, without.

We'll see how things go later. Time to shower.

So anyways, here's an update on the pokemon.

Bradimon: Horsea --> Seadra (Dragon Pokemon)
Juliemon: Ralts --> Gardevoir (Emotion/Embrace pokemon)
Vickimon: Swablu --> Altaria (Cotton/Humming Pokemon)
Spencamon: Whismur --> Loudred (Big Voice Pokemon)
Petermon: Shroomish --> Breloom (Mushroom Pokemon)
Ericmon: Tropius (Fruit Pokemon)
Sandimon: Rhydon (Spikes Pokemon)
Ryanmon: Wailmer (Ball Whale Pokemon)
Timmimon: Clamperl (Bivalve Pokemon)
Felixmon: Skitty (Kitten Pokemon)
Gracemon: Slakoth (Slacker Pokemon)
Cathimon: Psyduck (Duck Pokemon)
Keithmon: Kecleon (Colour Swap Pokemon)
Rubimon: Chinchou (Angler Pokemon)
Chrismon: Gulpin (Stomach Pokemon)
Nathanmon: Geodude (Rock Pokemon)

Many more to come...
Each of them have a reason for why I named it after the person...Ex. Spencamon, Loudred, Big Voice Pokemon...need I say more?
If you wana know, you can always ask...I think each pokemon resembles something in each of you...so ya.
Descriptions are too long to put on blog.

If you have any preferences, I may make exceptions for if you want to change, unless i think it fits you too well to change.

Total Bitch. Youuse others to do your dirty work. Only when you absolutely have to, you taint your hands. That's not very often. You need to calm down...a LOT. People aren't there

Total Bitch. Youuse others to do your dirty work. Only when you absolutely have to, you taint your hands. That's not very often. You need to calm down...a LOT. People aren't there

TRUE BITCH

You have great balance and know when it is a good
time to bitch and when not to. You get the
respect you deserve and you know it! You don't
over-do the bitchyness. Go you!

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Thats me! =)

Ahhhhh...why is life so unfair?

Its such a pain...but whatever, what can I do about it? It just works against me, all I can do is stand my ground, and hope not to be pushed back by the wave of evil. Or maybe I should turn evil. Hahah...Its funnie how easily I can be replaced, and I think that's part of the reason I dont really like some people. But hey, it doesnt matter, if they dont care, then why should I. I told you I was easily replaced Fatez. Its just a matter of time before I'm completely replaced and people wont notice, because they'd be occupied with the replacement =) So I can probably sneak away without a fuss then~ You say no now, but wait til it happens, you wont even notice and you'll be kickin yourself to have doubted me, or maybe not, cause I wont be around. I'm just waiting for my opportunity, so everyone can be happy. Or rather...better off, not necessarily happy. I'm probably sounding very whiny because I keep talking about this, but meh, stop reading if you think I am then.

I'm obviously aggitated, and I cant shake it. I've tried to, and it just doesnt seem to go away. I know I cant expect change fast, but it'd be nice to see some hints of it? Maybe I'm just too much of an idealist...

You know the saying "I'm only one man, what can I do?" or whatever the hell that quote would be considered. Well I've tried for the longest time to prove that wrong, I really have. I thought, maybe, just maybe, I could one of the few people who could help the world...or change it for the better...but I have to work with one person at a time...but I see when I'm faced with that challenge now, I cant do it. I'm so worn down from my emotionally constipated friends to be able to help other people. I will bitch and whine and complain all about this I want because this is my blog, and this is where I say what I want. Screw you if I offend you, if I offend you, in my mind, you deserve to be offended!

So yes, I will keep my blog up and running, and people will hear what I have to say if they choose to read it. I'm not forcing anyone to read this, and if people find out what I really think about them, so be it! Maybe then they can learn how much of an ass, or how good of a person they are and maybe CHANGE?

Hai...maybe I will be able to inflict change...but not in High School...

My head hurts, and I hate chemistry, and I have tutor soon and I dont wana do Calculus...think I could nap before he comes?

What is the point of a blog?

A question all blog owners should ask themselves. I personally think they are a tool to express your feelings of gratitude, hatred, or anything. Why is it turning so...commercial? Almost as if it's some sort of tool to gain popularity. Thats pretty sick eh? It seems that everyone has a blog now-a-days...the quality of the writing is questionable, the sincerity is also questionable. I dont know why this bugs me, but it simply does and that is how I will leave it.

I'm thinking of stopping this blog though, and going only with a private one. Its nice to have a page to play with, but its becoming so commercial like everyone else's. Though I actually do use it to express stuff...I dont know. It sometimes bugs me how I have to be careful of what I write, so not to piss anyone off, or to make other people know about things they shouldnt know about. Its just a pain, why should I continue if I cant say what I truly feel? O well, I bet half of you dont actually read what I say word for word anyways. Its all skimming and no real thinking. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else ever thinks anymore, or is it just me?

I've learned a lot from this blog though, about myself, and how I think, and how I am. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. I'm just getting tired of the fake people I see everywhere. The fake and the insincere...think I'm talking about 'english people'? Well I'm not, I've discovered a lot more fakers than just the 'england'. Either fakers or very good at not showing their emotions. Hahaha...and to think, Catherine accused me of being emotionally constipated...ahhh...what a fun time she would have with a lot of other people...=)

Anyways...bye for now...maybe for a while, we'll see.

Friggin hell man...
Do I never get a break? 3 Tests....and now Titration lab tomorrow...and then Moot court tomorrow...and tutor...AHhhhhhhhhhh
I feel the stress again..! And I thought it was over...Why do my teachers all like to randomly put things during the same friggin week!!!!! AIYA!!!! Why does everyone have to have sooooooooo much work this week, you'd think its the week before exams!!.....

I dont have the energy to bitch anymore though...*sigh* I just hope my titration goes well tomorrow...!(*^#(*!&)(!*@ Hopefully its a take home thing...
Frig, and I missed class to study for other tests...and this is what I get...there is no justice.......

I've even lost the will to blog right now...so bye

Woah...I had 6 hours of sleep over the passed 2 days, and I'm still functioning =)
I actually feel oddly rejuvenated after finishing those 3 tests...yay =) I even have the urge to help people again! Its so weird =P Maybe also cause I was listenin to Jewel - Hands, cause thats a song that I like when I'm happy and its bout helping people...so ya, I guess thats where I get it from? lol
I know everyone else is down...so this is good, I can help for now =) Editting and what not for me tonight...o the joy~! =P
Hehehe, but editting is KINDA fun, but only for me cause I'm a freak of nature =P
Yes, I'll even help Eckersly people!! Damn lucky bastards =P

So my law test was good =) I think I KNOW i pulled off a 70, which I havent had the feeling of for a while =P Possibly an 80 =) I HOPE =)
Calc...I dun have that feeling =P but whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Lalalallalalalalaal

Pizza is nummy~!
MWAHAHHAHAHAh...
Okay, I'm obviously CRAZY right now...so I dont think I should be bloggin' =p

PEACE!

Gawd...you know how many all nighter's I've had to pull this semister? About 5...you know how many before this semister? 1. And that was grade 11, Architechture...where I was building my house...(which is still very sexy might I add). Jesus!! I tihnk it's all because of law...its not funnie how much work I get from that course. Or just how it conviently places its work...near my other work...which leads to all night work...its that and my calculus course...I swear there's a conspiracy and they're working together to kill me...slowly. Death by school!! It sickens me. Completely sickens me.

Okay, no more downotown this weekend, just me doing research down there. Everyone wants their 'love interest' with them. So screw that, I dun wana be with a bunch of people being lovie dovie, or whatever. So ya, I'm cancelling that, or going alone, whatever =P I'll learn downtown by myself some more, its actually quite fun. Anyone ever wandered around downtown freely? Its honestly sooooooo much fun! It makes you feel so grown up! And when more gay guys check you out (though they are scarily ugly) its funnie, cause its like...WHAT?! I kno you want this, but you cant have it! hahaha. Also, I'd like to point out, this shows where priorities of friends are right now, and that its funnie that they just cant come with just me, but whatever =P I'm not mad, cause I'm gonna have a fine time alone, its just interesting I though.

Its fun being shallow and cocky. I've never realised the fun in being like that. Modesty really annoys me sometimes, when people cant accept compliments, like...its such a pain. It may be a 'nice' thing to do, but at the same time, its annoying. I find I'm becoming more...of a player type person. I dont know why, but its actually quite fun. We'll see how things turn out =)

Anyways, soup and hot chocolate from Tim Horton's is good when you're studying...or getting ready to study...or whatever =P Mmmmmmm........mmmm...... goooddddd =P

Time to finish soup then work =P

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately...namely because its weird to feel that I dont want one right now. I'm not quite sure I can commit anymore. I think before I can have a secure girlfriend, I need to have secure ties with my friends, so I wont feel bad leaving them on occasion to go with a girl. I've been feeling very different towards relationships, I guess I just want fun in a relationship right now, opposed to a companion? If you know what I mean...like...sure, we can do the lovie dovie stuff, but I want it to be based purely on fun, and not...commitment. Iuno, well thats what I based it on before, so I guess I'm glad I've learned. Not so much pressure =) But still, I dont want a relationship right now~ =P

Anyways, time for law and calc study~!

hai...
Life is so unfair...Why does the school have to torture us?

Its sad, I actually miss english...but thats cause I have all these damn mathy courses now...math eats my ass. O wells, at least I can look forward to next weekend, going downtown...heheh..and walking around gay n whatever =P Eh Felix? Openly gay, hahah =P

Okay, I think I'm done chemistry for now...its almost 4am...so I should sleep and wake up to go over it again, to make sure I remember what I'm doing...hahah =P
Titrationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...............................calculuations suck.......

Man, also editting for people...it hurts my head cause some sentences are so horrible...o wells =P Good luck to everyone with their annotations due tomorrow!

O yes! I remember the important fact of the day!!!

Charmed is back on CTV!!!
They're starting from where they left off on Sunday's at 8pm. Go watch it!!
Though they are all old to me, as I have all of them downloaded, its still nice to see on TV again =) I'll watch it just to give it ratings, hjehhehe =P

Piper...*drools* so beautiful and smart and...cocky...i dont know why, but that is SO hot...hahahah
I'm a weird boy =)

So anyways...Thanks to Fatez for NOT remembering to wake me up so I could study for more Chem...bitch

I fell asleep after I wrote that last post...hahhahaha, so I really havent studied for the passed...o...2 hours...Stupid me...

Okay, I had something rather important to say, but I forgot it. So bleh, whateverrrrrrrrrr~!

So anyway...

Studying sucks soooooooooo much...
I guess I goofed off a lot today still...
but I did get some studying done, you know..Chemistry isnt hard at all, I understand it all, and can do it...IF i do my homework...=P
If devoted ALL my time to studying, I could easily get 90's, but who does that? I honestly goof off sooooooo much, its a really bad habit, I think I should have started in grade 9 to discipline myself...o wells...At least UHS is one of the top 15 schools, including private schools, top 1 - 5 says Queens, not sure about private schools in there though...but GAWD I hate how our school is so hard...
Anyways...enough of school...

I've been finding myself more easily annoyed, and yet more tolerable at the same time...depending on who's doing the annoying thing...I dont know why I get like this...always so moody...maybe its the fact that I care so much (again) over someone who doesnt care...at all? I know its all good to be laid back and everything, and at times I wish I could be like that, but during most times, I dont think I want to give up my uptightness to be completely laid back. I know its good to be laid back for yourself, so you arent stressed. I'm uptight because a lot of things bug me and I want to fix them for everyone, so no one else has to go through that, or whatever, but if you're laid back, you cant really be outraged at anything, and therefore never really be able to start change, and make things the way you think is best, not just for you, but everyone. So in a way, my uptight nature can be a good thing, not saying its complete good, because gawd knows I'm uptight about the most obscure things from time to time =P So iuno which one is 'better' if you will. I guess we need more of a balance opposed to extremes of these...like everything else.

Dun ask me where this came from...its pretty random =P But maybe some of you will understand =) hehehe

So anyways,..time to try not to fall asleep while finishing chem!

This topic kinda was derived from Dumcat's blog about putting people on a pedestal...

This is exactly what I dont like about relationships. You are left completely blind to the flaws and problems of the person you are liking/loving. In the end, you get really disappointed with the person because you had them at such a high standard, and then suddenly something happens, and your hopes and dreams all plummet to hit reality. You see whats best in the person (which could be a good thing), but miss the things that make them...not the best choice (which could be a good thing). However, I'm inclined to think that those arent good things. Reason why you ask? Well...I think you should know the whole person, good and bad, and not just what you think you see, but what other people see. This is why I ask you all, who know me, to tell me EXACTLY what you think about my love interest...when I find one. =P I dont want to be getting into the same stuff as before. Where I thought I knew someone...but not as much as I should have...I didnt see all that I normally would have if it were just someone I didnt like-like.. Ya know what I mean? So, ya, for future reference, tell me what you think, I will take it into serious consideration mixed with everyone's opinion and mine...Its hard to judge people you like, because...ya, you put them on a pedestal...

I really dont like that though...As if they are any more important than your friends...though I admit, I've done that, I still did try to care for friends, and not only care about that person...Just because you care a lot about someone you rank higher, doesnt mean you have to lessen the care for your friends. I hope you guys didnt feel that when I was with people...if you felt less...important, I do apologize from the bottom of my heart, because I know how it feels, and it is very...painful. Its like coming in 2nd place...always =P

Which is another issue for me...for another day, time for nap + study~!

Happy Mother's Day!

Holy sweet Jesus...
I just watched Charmed Season Finale...and I'm frigging gonna cum...omgggggggggggggggggggggg...SOOOOO Good...
I'll have more on it later...AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lalalalalal!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!
Freaky man in Markham today...as I walk back from studying Chemistry at someone's house...I see, at 2am, a shadowed figure walking infront of me, towards me. I think..."Please let that be my shadow, please let that be my shadow at some awkward angle...!!!" It wasnt...as it was walking like a thug or a gangster...scared the living shit out of me!! My solution? Walk faster! And as you all know, I walk VERY fast generally...so this was like...triple time walking!!! My legs are KILLING me from those 30 seconds of walking from 16th to my house...GAWD!!! That guy scared me soooooooooooo much...He looked pretty built...so I was like..shit...I dont think I could fight that...especially with my lack of belt, and holding a school bag...Karate only takes you soooooo far...I thought he was fucking going to rape me...lol...innocent looking lil me, that doesnt look like he can defend himself =P

But then again...who would rape someone who looked like they were 12? Unless of course they were a catholic priest~! Ooooooooooo...dirt =P

Anyways...one of the many stories I can add to the collection of walking home late at night...lesson learned? Do not walk home late anymore. =P

Its soooooooooo hard to study at home...i mean...honestly!! I cant do any work...ICQ...blog...music...all here to distract my ass from Chemistry...the wonderful world of Chemistry!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

okay, no more distractions.

Peace

O MY GAWD!!!

CHARMED-GASM!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!

DOWNLOADING THE 2 PART SEASON FINALE BEFORE IT'S EVEN ON TV...AHHHH!!!!!!!!

OFHAOHFAOSIHFOIHSDFOIHSDOIHF...

AEHAOIRHOHFAOIHFOIAHSOIHF...

WOAH SHIT...CHARMED...WOAH!!!...

Woah...this song Nathan told me to download is really nice. I again, must commend you on your taste in music. Though sometimes I dont agree with it...like...the Wayne Grezky song....(what the HELL was that!?) but ya, get this song everyone:

Nine Days - If I am (accoustic)

Go go go~!
As I study for stupid thing...chem...blaaaaaaaaaaaah >_<

hehe...well...thanks for the food guys~ Specifically Spencer who paid =P
But thx to Ruby, cause I'm sure she knew what I was thinking...
Though I said I didnt wana see you guys tonight...she saw through it...heheh...good job~

Neways, I'm tired..Thx again.

hahah...
Funnie...

Distraction from studying lead me to trying on my clothes for prom...and gawd do I look good? I mean DAYAM! Still cant decide which colour to wear, and if I should get a vest, which I probably should. And you know...I will admit, I stand and walk like a damn model...ya ya yaya...fuck you all who accused me of it earlier...fuck you for being right...>_< I realised this when I looked in the mirror and the way I stood...was very...like the damn catalogs for tux's...o yes...and I found a tux in my closet, hahahah...I'm good...

Okay, sleep time
Peace.

I hate studying ahead of time...I can never really do it...I try....but end up slacking off...
Okay, maybe I dont try that hard...but whatever...my mind is else where right now anyways.

Its funnie how selfish people can be...how very selfish everyone is. To screw other people over for themselves...but whatever, if I'm the person screwed over, it doesnt matter. Lets see...if I give up on caring for people, then I can start caring about myself, and screw other people over instead of them screwing me over. That sound better? yes? I think so. Its really funnie....see...cause I care a lot about other people's happiness, so much that I sacrafice my own on occasion for others to be happy. That's fine, on occasion, but when I do it all the time, thats a problem. I do love to help people, but when no one is there to help me...I wont be very happy. But then again, I have no one that cares about my own happiness. Absolutely no one. Sure I a few friends that care about my feelings, but not happiness. There is the RARE one or two that actually cares, but not enough that they can make me happy. No one cares about my happiness, its funnie actually...

Lets see...
Parents? Nope. School work and cleanliness of the house comes first.
Siblings? Nah, they have their own lives.
Friends? Nope, wrapped up in their own lives.
So who does that leave...my cat? Nah...he doesnt even know his own name.

I'm alone, completely alone, but who cares, who needs people? I can deal with stuff without them, I have for the passed few years anyway. Gota love people...hahah...

Time for my calc..chem...and law...

I'm not a smart guy...

Anyways...
Here's who you gota vote for:

Tim - Prom King
Steve Choi - Mr. Nice Guy
Krystal Foo - Jockette
Eric n Cynthia - Ball and Chain

I think thats all.
Vote peoples.

Well, had an interesting talk with Nathan today, about several things...I think the old me is making a return. The one that wants to help 'fix' people, make them better people...I dont know where I lost that over the passed year...maybe through the stress and the weirdness that is me. If you guys got weird ICQ messages, that would have been from Nathan =P Apparently he raped me with a huge cock that is the size of a toilet paper roll, lol. He types like me, so I guess you guys couldnt tell. hahahah. o wells =P

Havent talked to Grace in a while, but yesterday I gave her a call, talked bout some crap, it was good to hear how things are going with her...heheh.

Anyways...

I'm tired, and need a nap, then study study study!

Good news, Moot court is STARTING on wedsnday, we're not actually doing it on wedsnday...WOAH that makes me feel SOOOOOOOOOOO much better...but 3 unit tests is pretty mean...

O wells, time for a nap...Nathan interupted my nap =P

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
and you know whereever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.

If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

- James Taylor

This is how things should be..
Dont worrie Vicks, you know you always got me there for ya..forever and always.

My kitty is cute =)

O ya, thx to Keith (for setting stereo up) n Chris (for getting cord with me) for helpin me get this stereo of mine hooked up to my computer =) Yay good sound quality! hehhehe~!

I feel so stupid...
I dont like calculus at all...it makes me not want to further my education...honestly, if I need to learn math throughout my life...I dont want to live. I really really really hate math!! Frig...this is the only unit I actually havent understood...it really doesnt make sense to me...I dont know why, its relatively easy too!! I've never felt sooooooo stupid...I mean NEVER...I honestly do NOT understand this stuff...the other stuff I just dont wana do, so I 'dont understand it' but this stuff I actually am trying to do and I dont get it...frig!!! I feel like the biggest moron EVER...Well, if I try harder I can get it...but I dont want to have to try hard all the rest of my mathematical life! It really takes sooooo much out of me...

I cant staaaaand math...it will honestly be the death of me...because I miscalculated something...and got killed. WATCH!!!...
...

hahah...
People amuse me with their half-ass care attempts, and some without any care =) Though I'm not really upset, its unsettling to see how little some people care, and how easily they give up. But what can I expect? I'm sure everyone is very busy anyways. Anyways, I'm tired, and dirty, so I'm going to take a nice shower, relax, forget problems, and then sleep a beautiful sleep.

I hate you people who want pix of me so much...WHY!!?!?!?
Its painful...well...it seems that tomorrow is take pix of Brad day...
=/
I HATE YOU ALL! *cries*

Alright guys, here's the deal...
Imma put a pic of different friends each day, or maybe I'll leave it for a week, then when I run outta friends, I'll put a pic of me...deal? Well tough! You have no say in it...o wait...Tagboard...too bad, I'm doing it!

lol...
Sorrie Pixie~!
You're just the first in my rounds of putting funnie pix of people...
Stay tuned loyal readers...as tomorrow will be a lovely picture of everyone's favourite cat...felix =)

Gota catch'em all!! Pokemon!!

Hmm...
Prom prom prom...
What to do with it. Suit or Tux? Many are going with Tux's, but I think I'll just go with a suit, prom aint all that big. Man, so many problems present themselves because of prom. Who's going with who, who's wearing what? Limo or no? Date or no? Rejected or accepted dates? *sigh* Everyone ends up with hurt feelings. Prom is supposed to be fun isnt it? Not an expensive time that no one has fun. It sucks especially when people break up around prom, and they were set on going with someone, but then cant....cause they broke up. Hmm...I wonder though...if I were to get back together with an ex, and already had a date, could I drop them? lol, no way, i couldnt drop a friend, unless they wanted to do it themselves. I'd go with them as long as they wanted to go with me, but I'd feel bad not going with my gf. hahaha =P Hopefully she'd understand? But I'd hope Baby Pixie would say something like..."Its for your happiness, dont worrie about me, go and have fun!" And sacrafice that for me...heheheheh...Why am I even thinking of this? hahahahah =P I'm sure Baby Pixie would, she's a good person. It'd be pretty tight of her to hold me to the arrangement though. =P Hmmmmmm...iuno man, Baby Pixie does have her MEAN streaks...hahahahh =P Mean isnt the right word...more like EVIL!! MWAHAHHAH!!! lol, where did this even come from? Stupid prom =P O ya...I know where this came from! Vicks =/ Sorrieeeeeee...Everything'll be okaaaaay! But again, you're better than him! heheheh =)

Anyways...Prom ya....its a piss off, should I post a pic of how I would be in a suit and then have people vote? hahahaha, ya right!!! I dun want people to be able to download a pic of me in a suit...and blackmail me later >_<

Mwahahahah!!
Maybe I will, if I feel cocky later =)

Latahs~

Hmm...it seems that some people that annoy me...arent as annoying anymore.
There are still some that really do annoy me =P But not only me, so maybe thats not me...heheh =)
But some dont, which is good =) Maybe I can start trying to help the people I dont like again...opposed to just...going...GET AWAY FROM ME!! Whatever happened to that part of me? hahahah...well, i really dont wana help the person I dont like right now...so I'll leave it, I'm not forcing myself to do that right now...too much work =)
I think I'm getting back to my old self...heheh, thats good, I can be nice again!! Bad influences...heheh...mainly felix...making me do stuff...i dont wana do =P
hahahaha~! Shhhhh..hush hush~!

Anyways...ya, I cant nap right now, and if I do hwk, i'll fall asleep...so I cant start that yet....and not much else to do...so...ya....lalalala...

Woah...
Do I have a lot of work or whaaaat?
Lets see...
Chem unit test on Monday...the hardest unit, Titration, JOY! Then Calculus unit test on a relatively easy unit, so not SO bad, but on tuesday. Then law unit test on tuesday, which should be hard, cause....its law. Grr...then Moot court on Wedsnday....what the hell maaaaaaaan...Dont I get one day of rest!??! Frig, I dun wana be in court...I dont even wana be a lawyer anymore!! Frig...I shoulda changed my schedule last year when I stopped wanting to be a lawyer =P Ahhhhhhhh...I dont even know if I still wana be a doctor. I'm thinking more psycologist/physciatrist...but jeez, i cant even spell the name of the profession...hahhaha...

Soooo much work...I hate school...*sob*

Anyways, time to actually start doing work ahead of time to save my ass for the next week...yay for me!

Nice nice =)

I got my new banner (to be worked on later...its alright for now though) and my lovely new Tailz Board animation =)

I'm satisfied with this right now~! I was gonnnnna put it after my name...but then...yaaaaaa...who knows =)
We will seeeee...hehehe...hohoho...maybe I'll have a new one for there tomorrow =)
I'm so excited now that I can put my own pix up!! Hey...should I put one of me? Noooooo...the internet does not need to see that...hahaha...that'd scare them away =)

Anyways, time for some homework...i think...or maybe not, just ICQ =)

Ya know, I just realised how much of a nerd I am...I quote games and cartoons...lol O well, sometimes they have the best morals to teach people, so I guess its not all that bad~!

Anyways, I would like to address one thing inparticular today...actually...its more like address something...again, relationships. They are real pains eh? This is directed to one of my very very best friends ever. She knows who she is, and you know...that guy was a complete moron, I'm sorrie to say this, cause I thought he was a good guy in the beginning, but hearing what's happened, and knowing what I see...I really think you can do better...wait, lemme rephrase that. I know you can do better. Anyone would crack way before you did, in the situation you are in. You're strong, and I know you can handle this, and on top of your own strengths, you always will have mine supporting you, not to mention everyone else who we know that cares for you. I know its hard, but things will get better, I insure that they will. But where "God" (shudder) closes a door, he opens a window, right? Well, now you're open in the single market, and get to have all these guys checkin you out, and you dont have to feel guilty. We'll go out and pick up some guys n girls just to fuck around with, and play, heheheh =) (I think I am turning into a player eh? =P)

Hahahah, but in all seriousness, dont let this get you down, completely forget him and move on. Be happy about the times you've had, and you can think back on to them and smile. So what if you'll never have those again with him, you'll have better with the next guy, or with your friends =) Dont worrie =) Another plus, you can hang out with me more! Hahhahaha, and who doesnt want that? =P HEhehhee, ya ya ya, the world doesnt want that, but too bad, you got it! =P

Every good thing must come to an end...and seems that your relationship's time is up. Dont look on it as something that is gonna hold you back, but look at it as a thing that will open more doors, to new things, and new experiences. I'm sure you're wiser and stronger because of this, just like every experience you have. Chill out, take a nap, and see if you feel better later =)

Anywaysssssssss...
Time for some Pokemon!! Gotcha catch'em allll~!
I choose you...Juliemon!! CONFUSION ATTACK!! MWAHAHAHA...=P
Yes, you all have to see the pokemon I named you guys after, I havent got one for EVERYONE yet...YET, but rest assured you will all have one...I'll make a list here...
Juliemon - Ralts, the emotion pokemon, later the feeling pokemon and later the embrace pokemon
Spencamon - Whismur the sound pokemon =P Later named Loudred, the loud pokemon =)
Rubimon - I forgot the real name...a steel pokemon with this giant metal mouth thing and yellow body...ya
Vickimon - Cloud bird thing...later turns into dragon cloud thing? I duno specific name =P Also the clean pokemon...lol
Ericmon - Steel bird....Skyarmory! Thats the name! Uh...the...bird thing..? Iuno, i dont use it much, sorrie eric =p
Cathimon (catherine) - Psyduck...hahahahah The stupid duck pokemon!! Wait...that should be Ritamon...hahah
Felixmon - Skitty, because its 'cute' but ugly =P The Cat pokemon
Petermon - Shroomish, hahaha, mushroom pokemon =)
Bradimon - Horsea =) MWAHAHAH...suckahs~ The sexy pokemon =)
Nathanmon - Surkit? or something like that...its the water strider pokemon, its fast, i thought nathan =P The fast pokemon? iuno...
Keithimon - Murkiata or whatever...some fightning pokemon with lots of will power. The guts pokemon, or something like that
Chrismon - Gulpin, the stomach pokemon...LOL!!! Its the one with only a stomach and a brain...hahahah, I wonder why Chris is that one...HMMMMMMmmmmm...=P
Jessimon - Sandshrew, the...something pokemon, i forgot.

Still to come:
Sandymon
Ryanmon
Carolynmon
Christinemon
Tim-mon
Ritamon
Cynthiamon
KLmon
KCmon
Gracemon
Ricardomon
Stevemon
Floramon
Jasonmon
Adrianmon

I forgot a bunch...
Many-a-mon left to poke...=)

The last post referred to the quote I put up by Storm you can see in the quote of the moment.

"Then if we cannot avoid a confrontation, we must stand our ground-- and defend ourselves."

Taking this out of the fighting contexted, and into the social contexted i took it like this...If you cant avoid a problem, you have to deal with it. But then a question arose...when do you stop 'fighting'? or when do you stop dealing with a problem? When do you give up essentially.

I had a long talk with Tim about problems I've been having (Thanks Tim =P) and I couldnt help but think...I want to give up...I want to give in...What holds me back? My honor holds me back. I'm sure you all know how I dont like to give up on things, unless the other side decides to first. I will generally fight to the bitter end...even in warcraft, I dont like to leave battles until they kill me entirely, just give it one last shot. Then again, I am only human, and I have to give up sometimes and accept that things do not work out right? Wrong...I actually really dont think that...things will work out, as long as people want them to work out...this was a lot longer last time, but I lost some of my thoughts there.

O ya...and I also am not enjoying relationships, and people's obsession with them. Its very...annoying. How everyone focuses on their boyfriend/girlfriend or their wana be boyfriend/girlfriend, or their almost boyfriend/girlfriend. You know the saying..."Boyfriends (or Girlfriends) come and go, but friends are forever" right? Well, I dont believe that for one second. Friends arent there forever, though boyfriends/girlfriends DO come and go, so do friends if you dont show them enough love and care. It really bugs me that people care more about finding a good girlfriend or boyfriend rather than just really good friends...Cant you have both? Or at least work for both? I see sooooooooooo many people that work so hard for their girl/boyfriends, and do shit for their friends. I understand to some degree why they would do that, but you know...your friends have feelings too. Your friends help you with things your lover (lets just call it that for typing's-sake) cant. What I'm trying to say right now is...that I'm not really looking for a relationship so much right now. I'll be in one if I like the person, but please dont expect me to give up friends or anything for that. And to friends, please try to keep your friends close, and not go off with just your lover and focus on caring for your friends every once in a while...or everyday even.

Anyways, this better post...but I'll copy it anyways

Argh...I had this HUGE ass post...at least 5 or 6 paragraphs about how I feel about a lot of different things...and then I posted, and as I posted I thought...damnit, i shoulda made a backup of that post, incase it doesnt work...and guess what happens...I lose it! Friggin' hell...I'll write maybe later...hopefully remembering what I wrote...

You know...
I was thinking...
Should I try and tolerate someone a good friend of mine likes, if I dont particularly like the person or like to be around the person that friend likes? Well...the good person and good friend in me says...yes, of course you should. But the insecurity in my friendship says...would that friend do the same thing for you? But the good in me says...Does it matter? You should do it for yourself, to be a good person, develop patience and tolerence. But the bad in me says...Screw that, if I cant stand that person, it doesnt build tolerence it destroys it. I have many conflicting emotions as you can see. Although, I think good is winning. I should give my friend the benefit of the doubt (though they will not notice me if i'm there or not when that person is around) that they would do the same for me in the same situation. In conclusion, I will not ditch you when that person is around...though I cannot guarentee that for the other person....if you catch my drift. I'm sure you do.

In other news...
I was talking with Vicki n FateZ today on the way to getting picked up by my sister, and we were talking about friendships, and how they should be, and what makes them good, sorta...or at least I was talking bout that to myself in my head =P But I came to the conclusion that friends need to share emotions. They need to tell each other how they feel so that they can become closer to one another. I know I'm not completely honest with you all, all the time, but I will try to be more...expressive of my feelings, maybe that will work through some of my issues with anger with certain people. I ask you all to do the same, express your feelings and show how you care. Maybe for all the people who are secure about their friendships dont need this as much, but I am always on shaky ground when it comes to friends. Its really nice to know that you care, or see that you care...that honestly makes me extremely happy, to know that people care about you. I know its hard to say or express, and if you dont do it, dont worry about it...its just very very comforting to tell people who you feel about them I think? Maybe I'll tell you all tomorrow...we'll see, no more evasive manuvers to get rid of people, I'll be honest with them, display my happiness/unhappiness, and see how things go from there.

Alright, now my eyes sag out of my sockets as I fall asleep typing.

Night all.

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Yups, it was my mom's b-day today, and I went to Wonderland...lol
Pretty fun I guess, but I got kinda irritated for a while, with my lovely mood swings, but I tried to just say "Screw it" and got back in the swing of things. I'm easily irritated right now, as I'm sure many other people are. Just that I'm especially irritated and I cant stop it. Overly sensitive to things, constantly testing people, its not a good thing to do =P The occasional test is fun, but when you're constantly doing it unconsciously...no fun. But lets just say...many people failed today =) hahahhaa, but it doesnt matter.

Went for Indian food with my family when I came home for my mom's b-day. It was pretty...good i guess? Very filling. I wouldnt go for it particularly, like...LETS GO FOR INDIAN! But I'd say, "o...sure if you wana go for indian".

I'm kinda confused...but hey...thats the way life is~!

Happy Birthday to Spencah~! Sorrie I didnt get to write it on the actual day, blogger was being mean to me =P

Anyways!
The party turned out alright, after all that intense planning...
Special thanks goes to Keith for distractions, Felix for parental consent, Ruby for getting some people.
A job well done team! Though I will say this, I will NEVER again plan anything again, this is my last big event until something really important comes up, but I'm going to keep the numbers to a minimum. Sorrie for the turn out Spencah, there shoulda been a lot more people, but at least you got an idea of who cares enough about you to come =) I hope you were surprised, and happy that we got to do this for ya. Though I spent MUCH time with the organization, and biting off the ears of several people, I'm glad everything pulled through alright =) Damn last minute plannin' =P

Alright, onto the X-Men 2 Review!!!

Alright, my opinion of the movie, was the following:
It was a huge disapppointment.

~~~ WARNING ~~~

SPOILER!!!
IF YOU WISH TO KEEP THE PLOT TO X-MEN 2 A SECRET, DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING SECTION

~~~ SPOILER ~~~

So anyway, things I have to say that are good about the movie:

- Nightcrawler was relatively authentic, good job to the team for making him that.
- Nightcrawler's special effects were amazing! I was blown away everytime I saw him teleport!! I mean..WOAH!!
- Interesting idea putting 'too much iron' in the guard to Magneto's cell's blood Mystic! I'm proud of you with the clever thinking!
- Storm's costume was pretty
- Iceman was pretty 'cool', hahahah, no pun intented =P
- Pyro's display of power rung true, it was a nice way of showing it too. Also good job Rogue with the draining of his powers, smart move.
- SOME clever ideas with powers (listed above), you'll see what I mean in the bad section
- Magneto with the morphing of the metal ball into a tiny platter to float on was niceee.
- Magneto = Atom, lol
- Effects of the movie were outstanding. Nice job Jean with the blocking of all that stuff, though your powers do not permit you to do it generally. (I'm spilling over onto the bad section sorta)
- The line...Nightcrawler to Mystic: "I hear you can turn into people? And imitate their voices?" Mystic: "And imitate their voices" *in Nightcrawlers voice* heheheh
- Kelly Hu....o baby =P

Alright, enough talk about this bad section, here the monster is.

- NOT KEPT TRUE TO STORY LINE
This is a major piss off to those of us who know the TRUE story...and how they altered it...Main changes in characters really REALLY irritated me! I'll start with Storm, because my favourite character was BUTCHERED!!!

~Storm~
Changed her WHOLE attitude, made her seem like she was in a desperate fight for survival, when that is SO not true to her character. There was a line that she said something along the lines of "Sometimes anger helps you survive" and Nightcrawler is all like "All you need is faith" blah blah lbha god god god. Byt the thing is...Storm only has faith, faith in humans, faith in mutants. She is such a brave and honorable person, and here they make her look like an opportunist! One that does what she needs to survive. Though she did become a pick-pocket to survive when she was young, thats different. She does NOT become angry like that, she becomes CALMLY angry, so its SCARY when she's mad, but nooooooo...I learned soooo much from Storm from the TV show, and they completely ruined it. They also somehow toned down her powers, and control. When she is supposed to be one of the most powerful in the school, up there with Cyclops (who was cut out of the movie a lot). She flies EVERYWHERE, and can make other things fly, and can shoot lightning from her HANDS, opposed to from the air. They make her seem like SUCH a weakling, and make Jean out to be the complete hero with super powers! What the hell is that?! Onto my next character...Jean...

~Jean~
Though I believed that Jean's powers could be amazing, and she doesnt apply herself, here she does. Which is a complete change of her character, much like Storm. Jean develops a spine somewhere in this movie, where in the series, she had none. Julie may think she comes out with big saving things in the end, but I only see that when she is the Phoenix. Another thing, WHY IS SHE THE PHOENIX WITHOUT MEETING THE ALIENS?! Gawd!!!! She's cool, i'll admit, but COMMON!! Also, she got uglier with her short hair, I say grow it again for phoenix. Also...why is she so much more powerful and Storm sooooooo much less powerful? Storm could have saved them from the water. For gawd's sake, Storm controls the elements wind, water, and lightning, weather essentially! but fucking BLOW the water back, or make a wall to stop water with the wind! or blow the ship up in the skin and away. Sure it'd take a shiet load of her energy, but its better than Jean sacraficing herself! Grrrrrrr...They made Storm look STUPID, when she's a leader of the team.

~Wolverine~
Its always about Wolverine, thats just a piss off for me cause I enjoy the other characters more, or the TEAM unit, opposed to just Wolverine. Otherwise Hugh Jackman played a good role as him, just I dont like seeing too much of his character, I've never been one to like Wolverine. O ya, and Wolverine did NOT volunteer for the operation and wasnt a complete bad-ass before, though he was bad-ass, he wasnt BAD as Striker eluded to. He was captured by Canadians and then experimented on cause he was a mutant. He was just lucky that he could heal, and that's why he survived the experiment.

~Lady Deathstrike~
Alright, WHO MESSED WITH THIS STORY LINE?!?!?! There was absolutely NO reason to have her in the movie. They didnt even give her name!! They changed her claws, and gave her healing!? FIRST OF ALL, Lady Deathstrike, NOT A MUTANT. What is she you may ask? She is a human, bent on revenge for her father's death, as Wolverine killed her father (the scientist who gave him the adamantium skeleton), so she went and got HUGE claws (giant hands about 4 times the size of normal hands) made of adamantium to fight Wolverine. She was in love with Wolverine before, and they were supposed to be married before Wolverine moved away and got the claws. She NEVER could heal...where they got this from...I havent the foggiest.

Problems with Mystic, Rogue and Nightcrawler
Okay...storyline, Mystic is Rogue's foster mother, and Mystic is Nightcrawlers biological mother. This is the real story. YET...in the movie, Rogue doesnt know her, and therefore will never get to be evil, and therefore never gain the ability to fly and be super strong from Ms. Marvel. Also, Nightcrawler seemed ATTRACTED to his own mother...Though they may not go on with the right story line...this is FAIRLY disturbing...

So ya, this is my problem with the movie.
I give it 5 stars...out of 10, only because I like the actors, and the special effects...and didnt wana be too mean. I am saaddly disappointed...there were VERY few fight scenes, very little power-usage and a huge lacking in the proper character development. *sigh* My hopes were all high for no apparent reason...BUT, at least Matrix 2 looks AMAZING...I mean AMAZING...but previews are mis-leading...

~~~ END SPOILER ~~~

So ya, the movie wasnt that great...I'll still watch X-Men 3, for hopes of improvement, but...I'm sure my hope will be horribly shattered when the time comes.

So anyway, happy birthday to Spencah.

I advise you watch X2, though it may not be the greatest..Its X-Men, how can you not watch it? =)

Neways, time to sleep so I dont get killed at Wonderland, gotta show off the 'goods' for the many hot people there =)

Peace out~

Dreams.

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