Dreams.

Hmm...
I seem to be extremely easily aggitated right now by certain people. I have reasons, but I shouldnt be like that, with the whole trying to be the 'bigger person' and all. Maybe I will change myself too, I still wont accept less than my standards, but I think I'll just give up the whole caring thing too, cept to the people that deserve it or appreciate it. Hopefully I'm capable of doing that. Its funnie that some friends dont say anything, even though I'm pretty sure they know what's wrong. Asking if something is wrong, is the VERY least you could do for a friend if you truly care. VERY least. Being persistent when asking, proves you really do care. Knowing that something is wrong, and making an effort to change, shows a little care. Making a constant effort and trying hard shows that you really really care. I see this from some people. Maybe I cant judge this that well cause everyone has a lot of work, and maybe this is just a result of my own stress from school too, but that doesnt mean that I'm totally wrong.

As I was telling Preston earlier today, though I am not suicidal, that I wouldnt mind dying. It would actually bring me a lot of peace. Dont get worried, I'm NOT going to kill myself, who's that much of an idiot? But I honestly would not mind being killed, or not having to wake up to this constant onslaught of shit that I gota keep taking. From school, from friends, its just too much for me. I know this MAY sound suicidal, but trust me, I'm not. Its just I wouldnt mind not being alive is all. Its just so torturous...every moment being so pissed off, annoyed, and no one seeming to notice or care, then doing bad in school, and all this work and still doing bad. I just dont want to have to deal with it. I know its a cowardly and selfish thing to think, just die and leave everyone else to deal with it, but I cant help what I feel.

Hai...well, I'm sure other people have gone through this crap, but I feel all alone in it. Wahtever, I always feel alone, so it doesnt matter~

posted by Bradimon @ 11:46 a.m.