Dreams.

*sigh*
I just wish everything would come to an end. I mean I'm not pissed off or anything right now, its just...everything is so tedious and tiring. I mean...friendships, I have to work and put effort into those when other people dont, school, thats just all work, and prom...so much more work. I'm just tired to the point where I wana collapse. =P Alright, something has to give...I duno if I can keep this whole thing up. I mean, I'm trying so hard not to be mad, I really am, and so far its working, but iuno...there's just so much that bugs me...I cant go back to normal...i dont even know what normal is anymore. I feel that my moody-emotional side is 'normal' right now...Hopefully just a phase? Well...I've learned lots from it at least...so ya...at least there are pro's to this? A big ass con however, is that I dont know how to get out of it. *sigh*

Everyone else is having problems, and its so hard to stay...collected and try and help them without being mad yourself. Boy o boy...what I would do to not have to care...honestly, you people who dont, have it so easy. Its, I want that, I dont care about other people, I just want that. Why do I even care? Why do I even try to be nice? Good questions, with no answers...it just simple is. As Dumcat colourfully puts it "Thats just the way I am". I know its a 'good' thing, but not when you have to do it so often...I really feel the burnt out. I dont know how other people can still be happy? Well, at least today was a day of relative happiness for me.

AHhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
I will try to keep up the 'whatever' attitude so I dun kill someone, and so that other people wont be mad...but I'll still try to help people...
Why do I even want to help people?
Gawd...I should really think about that deeply one day...perhaps later...or now...but I wun blog about it right nwo...

posted by Bradimon @ 10:48 p.m.