Dreams.

Things WILL be better one way or another.

Dumcat has promised me he will try to change things for the better and I have promised myself that I wont care as much for everyone. I can understand to some degree how having the person you like ahead of your friends is alright, but NOT as much as Dumcat does. I place the person I like above my friends too, but only far enough above to show that I really really care for them. I dont make them seperated by a giant barrier that says, I like you, and I like you as a friend. In my world it's...I like you, and therefore you get first choice of what you want me to do, friends get me 2nd, but still all of me...I've already went over this with Dumcat, so I dont know why I'm regurgitating it onto my blog.

God damnit!!! I think I'm a pretty good person to go around caring and sacraficing myself for people, and in the end, breaking down like I have the passed few weeks. To think that I'm not as important as someone that doesnt care the way I do, is obsurd!! To think, I give up so much, and I try so hard to be a good person for everyone's sake and get nothing from it...absolutely nothing. Its not that I want something physical in return, just some appreciation, perhaps some attention for what I do. I get none, whatever.

And I know you all know me as someone who doesnt like people for a reason. And generally I will have several reasons before I declare my hatred or dislike for somebody. I'm not asking you to join me in disliking, I'm just asking you to be tolerant and understanding of why I dislike someone, and what I am going to do about it. Most of you know me well enough that I wont just randomly hate someone, pre-judging them before I know them, generally, people I dont like are bad people in my eyes. You know who i'm talking about, trying to defend them only undermines all that I've put together. I accept that you guys would like to befriend that person, but I refuse for my reasons I've told you, respect that as I respect your decision. (Also, I'd like to point out, that I've always seemed to dislike people before everyone else started to, as I notice details before others generally speaking). Does this mean I will always not like him? Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter? Not to me, I dont need more friends, I am content with the few good ones I have.

Quality, not quantity. Though some people may be concerned with being popular (HAH!), it doesnt matter to me at all. I've had my fair share of a little popularity, and I dont care for it. It serves to inflate one's ego, which just turns people into pompus, stuck up, cocky bastards. On that note, I will leave and go clean up the house~ =P

posted by Bradimon @ 2:22 p.m.