Dreams.

...

I'm a bastard.

posted by Bradimon @ 8:35 p.m. 0 comments

Yay Canada!

So Canada has made me feel more proud to be Canadian as of 8:45pm yesterday when bill C-38 was passed. Marriages definition has been redefined as "the lawful union of two persons to the exclusion of all others."

Its so nice to see Canada being the 3rd country in the world to accept same-sex marriages. Its so sad that some people are so insistant on discriminating and excluding gays from getting married. I see marriage as a union for love between two people...why does it have to be between a man and a woman? Love is love.

But anyways, it's passed the senate now, so we're home free pretty much. Though the conversatives have considered calling a referendum for it. I roll my eyes.

Sad because their reasons are so...idiotic. Take Joy Smith's for example...(The manitoba MP that broke down crying in the debate) saying she wanted to save marriage in its traditional form for her daughter. "If she decides one day to get married, she knows what that meaning will be - between a man and a woman...she will have that choice. It will not go away in the dark of night at the stroke of a pen."

Man...that just makes me have a long drawn out "oh my god" because...shit, you're just an idiot Joy Smith. Your daughter can have marriage in its traditional form all the same, unless of course she wants to marry a woman. Its "traditional" form will still be a man and a woman because that was the "tradition" but now its just inclusive to same-sex couples...bitch! I roll my eyes again.

Sad that I'd actually yell at these people who think like this...cause you know me and my non-yelling policy, but these people are too much for my tolerance.

posted by Bradimon @ 7:45 p.m. 0 comments

Brendan's Farewell

So today we said our final goodbyes (well, our final goodbyes in person) to Brendan for his 2 month trip. Dinner was pretty fun although we arrived very late...sorrie again! Not my fault! Nachos...I've been craving for a while! Mmm...but I should have got that extra cheese!

So we went and had our makeshift drinking session with all the alcohol we could scrounge up...heheh, that was so funnie. Our drinking games failed...minus "I never" it was interesting to find out all those things people have/havent done, hahahaha. Too bad its so hard to think of good questions so quickly! There has to be a better way.

It was really nice meeting Gabby, I hope he has a safe flight and hope he had fun here with us. I guess it was partly for his farewell too, he wont be back here for another year or so.

As usual, thanks to Brendan for letting us use his house for our drinking :P I hope you have a good time in Taipei without us :( We'll all miss yah here~!...well maybe some people will...not me...mwahahahha! jk jk. But yah, have a safe flight, keep in touch with us and such. We'll be waiting for you back home. Be safe man.

And that being said, I will fall asleep...again...:)

posted by Bradimon @ 6:19 a.m. 0 comments

Dreams to dream...

I wonder if some dreams are really skewed visions of the future at times. At times they seem to be following the way I've interpreted my dreams to be...other times they're just dreams. I think partly because I want life to play out like my dreams I see it as if it were following it though it very well may not be.

Funnie thing is...this dream isnt perfect by far and clearly would create an awkward situation for everyone involved. So why would I want something to be awkward. I dont...but I do. I think dreams fulfill our most basic selfish pleasure needs, and thats why its showing this because this is what I want on a selfish level I guess? I'm such a freak, I need sleep...like...now!

Oh yah, funnie thing to mention about tonight. Question of the night was...What would you name yourself if you had super powers? Which turned into what super powers would you have?

So we've decided that Ed gets to slow/stop time for obvious reasons...hehehe :)
Brendan gets to have cold touch, and be an emotional void sucker kinda thinger...hahha..(this makes me realise we never came up with names)
Fatima is the schemer...for the good guys...with an evil head tossing laugh...(we need something better for that)
And I have the crappy powers of empathy! Weeeeeee..."I sense...anger!" Thats my job. hahahh...its cool tho! I like it!...damnit...

okay, time for sleep...for real real...

posted by Bradimon @ 6:05 a.m. 0 comments

Weekend

Wow, this weekend was very eventful.

So much stuff going on at Pride! AX was also really fun with lots of different songs! The QAY Show was pretty good. Ed, Andrew and Ronald sang really well! I'm really impressed! Good stuff going on there. Apparently I'm the "Water Bitch" aka Boy who pours water for everyone as their job.

Woke up really late today so missed the Parade. Hit up some of the street parties, those were pretty nice, but for the most part, today was just kinda relaxing. Didnt do too much but just kinda chilled around. It was fun to see Fatima hit on by some drunkard...who was confused about whether or not people on church were men or women...and asked us if we were really men. But he seemed to like Fatima quite a bit...and by quite...I mean...a lot. hhahahha. :)

Anyways, yah...work tomorrow...time to sleep.

P.S.

I find it kinda strange that I havent had any big deep reflecting for a while...about being a better person...or about the world...or about people in the world...It feels like I've lost the ability to think about anything non-superficial...that aint good.

posted by Bradimon @ 4:22 a.m. 0 comments

Fun times.

My head hurts...but I'm still awake? Why? I'm not really sure. I dont have work tomorrow so I feel like I should exercise my ability to stay up late...as stupid as that sounds, its sorta fun.

I should get up and do some exercise tomorrow morning...and run, because I havent in a while.

Oh yah! I forgot to put the story about the man who made me very angry at work! See...there's this fat man who wanted a skim latte...and I was like, alright cool, and I made one and filled it only like...a millimetre from the top because I ran out of milk. I figure most people wouldnt care about that LITTLE bit, but he asked me to fill it up full (rudely too) but I did it, a little disgruntled that he asked me rudely, but still cheery none-the-less.

So I fill it up the whole way, leaving no room, and kinda of dome of foam on the top, but I spilled it a little when I moved it cause it was so full. So the guy says "This cup is leaking, make me a new one!" and I was all like (politely) "Oh no, its just a little spilt, dont worrie about it." (insert smile) and he looks at me in the eyes, picks up the cup and throws it into the garbage all the while staring at me in the eyes! I was soooooooooooooo mad...but I made him a new one. GRRrrr...Gota try and be understanding of people...sooo badddd. Mean people out there...I'm sure most people have heard this story, but I still need to post it :P

What else has been going on...hmm...Karen is soooo cute right now! With her big belly filled with Milo! August 17th-ish will be when the baby is born! I cant wait! Its gonna be the cutest, most spoiled thing in the world.

Mm...thats all for now folks, I guess I should put this time I have to use and sleep :P

posted by Bradimon @ 2:53 a.m. 0 comments

The days blend together...

Man, if you dont sleep all the days blur into one! I cant seperate what happened weds, thurs, and friday! It all seems like one day when clearly they werent.

God...I need to sleep...work in 4 hours...

posted by Bradimon @ 1:32 a.m. 0 comments

Why am I awake?

Good question, I dont know, but I'm going to sleep after I post this.

Feeling a bit on the uneasy insecure side right now. For no particular reason, just feeling it. It got better at work, but then I got really tired at work due to the lack of sleep the previous night. hahahha, but at least we had fun with the "rolling ball of shit" those of you who were present know what I mean...lol.

So much is going on, the world is going craaaaaaaaazy, weeeeeeeeeee.

K, time to sleep!

posted by Bradimon @ 1:54 a.m. 0 comments

Growin' up.

So we all start out as pretty innocent children...we grow up, learn more about the world...and see the bad side. But does that mean we all become cynical and bitter...?

I mean...my parents always tell me about how they used to be idealistic like me, and now, they're both pretty bitter and cynical. Does that mean that I'm going to be like that? Dana is pretty cynical as well, I'm not sure about Lori and Marc.

I dont want to lose faith in people. I wana be able to believe that people are good inside, and I wana be able to believe that good things will happen if you are patient...and not just for yourself. Why does everyone around me seem so cynical? Most defend it by saying "No, I'm realistic." which just shows how cynical and pessmistic some people are.

I think that being realistic is believing that sometimes the good will happen. Clearly it wont happen all the time, but it doesnt mean that you shouldnt give them the benefit of the doubt. On the reverse side, you clearly cant trust everyone. Also, in psych/bio, we learned about the best strategy to 'win' with the whole 'tit for tat' and 'always defect' and junk like that.

I'm too lazy to explain it right now cause I'm not very articulate right now and my emotions are kinda goin wack..So maybe another time. Time to sleep or something, hahaha...probably shower is better...so I dont smell like coffeee >_<

posted by Bradimon @ 7:37 p.m. 0 comments

Today

hahahaha...so I havent ran through a fountain of water in quite sometime, but it was hilarious. Today was pretty fun! Tiring, but fun.

Cookies, dumplings and instant noodles...hahahah...well, I didnt make the noodles...but I housewifed the whole thing...why? I dont even know! I think I'm just back into the groove of cleaning up after other people...hahahah. At least they were instant cookies and I didnt make the dumpling's from scratch! Thats for another day.

Anyways, yah, Charmed Season 4 is done! Yay!

posted by Bradimon @ 2:54 a.m. 0 comments

Competetion

Why does it seem that a lot of people feel like they have to compete with me...?

I mean...I was talking to someone I havent talked to for a few weeks, and then they ask me how things are and such...but it seems as though they are asking to update so they can compare themselves to show that they're doing better? Or to see if I'm not doing good so they can feel better about themselves...

I dont understand why someone would do that. Okay, I do understand, but I cant say I approve of it. I dont try and ask people how they are only to get a good feeling about it when they arent doing well, and then patronize them when they're feeling good. With the insincere "Oh, I'm happy for you". Granted, it's on MSN and I cant hear the tone of voice, but honestly...if you were to be tactful and less insincere you could drop the "Oh" part, it IS on MSN for christ's sake.

I dont think I've done that to anyone...why would they do that to me? All I do is try to be nice, and then I get this attitude and spite...? For what...? I didnt do anything to this person, yet they seem so excited to see things in my life fail. I think its some sort of insecurity on their part...so I really should just be sympathetic instead of so insulted.

I guess its just my intial feelings of annoyance when someone seems happy to see something wrong in your life? I mean...I know I'm a lucky kid, but thats no reason to spite me like that...

Sigh, it seems as though no matter how hard I try to be nice to everyone...it can rub them the wrong way..

posted by Bradimon @ 12:55 p.m. 0 comments

Emotional people

Emotional people get a pretty bad rap a lot of the time. Stereotypes of them persist, and make them see like a bunch of weaklings, who will crack and die under pressure. Or at least this is the stereotype that I see. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic and not really seeing the other side of emotional people, aka, the emotionally strong people. Like..well, Buffy.

She killed got betrayed by the love of her life, who killed some of her friends, tricked her into getting her best friend into the hospital, then got kicked out of her house, expelled from school, and then had to go try and kill her psycho boyfriend who lost his soul, but regained it right before she had to kill him. To add to that, he didnt even remember anything bad he did, but the gate to hell or whatever had to be closed by killing him cause he already started it...so she killed him. I mean, its the logical thing to do, but the love they had was so strong...its really sad. Yet somehow she lives on. I mean...when I picture someone who's emotional, I picture someone lame and weak (how sad, cause clearly I'm defending myself for being emotional :P) but really (I'd like to think) that I'm an emotionally strong person. I'm not ruled by my emotions, but they are stll very potent. Ya know what I mean?

Sigh...

posted by Bradimon @ 2:36 p.m. 0 comments

Love

Love is such an amazing feeling. I mean...when you watch something on TV (provided there are good actors) and it evokes such a response from you...well, at least me.

I dont understand why love is such a complex subject...okay, I lie, I do understand how it can be so complex. With all other emotions mixed in...fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, self doubt, excitment, lust, guilt, fear of being vulnerable, trust issues...everything mixed up in with the feeling of love. Its so complicated, but so painfully simple at the same time.

I believe that everything is as simple or complex as you make it out to be in your head. That life isnt really as hard, or scary as many pessmists or cynics might like to think. A lot of things are just in our heads...sometimes we just need to get over ourselves. I fall victim to this trap all too often. When things look complex...its like a bad math equation, you need to simplify it to solve it.

Things do become as easy as that when you make them like that...its just that step that is hard to take sometimes. I seem to get stuck on that every now and then, but I give myself a nice kick in the rear to fix that.

Mm...love is so cute to watch...le sigh...le boo hoo.

Funnie that my phrase as a pisces is supposed to be "I believe". Its completely fitting for me.

posted by Bradimon @ 4:44 a.m. 0 comments