Work week!
Yes I know, Sorrie andrew, but I must talk about school work.
So I have 2 projects due monday, that I havent started...I'm scared. I want to keep my mark in Hydrology in the high 80's!! :( Thats right, high 80's! God I love lab reports! They make University life so much easier. I wonder if other things of mine are marked yet...I'm scared of those...
Well, we'll see how that goes. Busy week, and then next week is busy too cause of exams...shit. Already...but we'll see how it goes. Study study study! Time to be a good boy and turn off the MSN.
Complaints.
So I've been getting complaints that my blogs arent personal enough, and they're all about work never about anything overly deep, which is true enough.
Maybe I dont like sharing as much with just...the internet because then I feel like people could just come here, read my deepest thoughts then when I choose to confide in someone...it wont be worth it, because I've confided in everyone. It messes with the trust between friends. So really I cant put anything intimiate or detailed on here, just my emotions at the time.
And right now, all I'm feeling is sad. Sad because of a TV show, but sad nonetheless. Well, not just for a TV show, I guess I'm sorta feeling down just in general. It's the whole Christmas season deal. Everyone has someone special for Christmas (okay, not everyone, but a lot of people do), and it just feels like a time to have someone. So really, I cant follow any urges I have to want to be with someone because they might not be genuine right now, and they may just be out of loneliness. This
is not to imply there is anyone specific, so dont get on my case about "who who who" its just in general.
I keep forgetting about a lot of things, and try to just stay happy with everything, but it really just sucks to do that, and I dont think I do it on purpose. Everday I wake up and everyday is a new day, things from the past are more of a distant memory, and resolutions disappeared. I need a ribbon or something like it to tie around my wrist to "never forget".
Sorrie to bore those of you who read this weird thing.
Wee!
Hahah, so here are some pix from when I went on that nice walk at 4am!
Hahahah, yah, it was soooo pretty! I should do that more often!
kk, should get ready for work!
Mixed Feelings.
I really dont know what's going on. Just having a lot of strange feelings that keep bouncing around. I'd say it's that time of the month and that I'm just moody...but clearly that doesnt work for me.
I really need to start being a better person again. I've been..not happy with myself to be honest. Thought many things are going very well in life right now, I'm just not happy with myself. I've been really selfish the passed few months, which I dont like.
I dont know...where is the balance brad? Where is the balance...
Cold-hearted.
So today is one of those days where I feel like being very cold-hearted. Of course I cant always be the chipper happy person people see, and today is that day where I will be cruel, judgemental, and analytical.
Granted, I have been on a downward slope for the passed little while. I'm not sure, school draining me? Or maybe I actually care less about things. Maybe I'm just getting fed up and putting up some defense mechnisms that I know arent healthy, but are going up regardless. I hear this little voice inside my head screaming "Nooooo, dont put them up!", too bad though...I'm just getting tired and need some walls to protect me for now. I'll break them down when I'm rested.
Speaking of rested, brad needs a nap.
Oy...
So I didnt sleep last night...why? Well...cause I'm an idiot! :)
I did however get a chance to catch up with One Tree Hill!...cant wait for wedsnday's episode.
Oy oy oy oy oy...i need to sleep...and do work this week...frig. Movie review due thursday, midterm coming up next monday, and lab due today. At least the lab is done, and the movie review is a little planned out in my head...but still have to read a shit load for monday.
I duno what's going on anymore...i mean, at all. WEeeeeeee! Just go with the flow...go with the flow.
Rememberance Day.
So today is Rememberance day, a time to remember those who have fought for us. Sigh...
To be honest, I never really thought much of it when I was younger, which is really kinda sad. I mean, most people didnt really understand the importance I guess. I mean...I understood that people fought and protected us, but really I didnt understand how much they were giving up.
I'm glad to say that I respect rememberance day much more now than I have in the passed years. I see those veterans selling their poppies and I see them on the news talking about how people are forgetting how important rememberance day is...then I think about how it lucky we are to not have to live in a time of war right now. I imagine how it would be if we were all fighting for our lives, and to see my closest friends dying all around, or dying myself around my closest friends trying to protect others at home...it's really sad that some people dont remember. I'm not saying everyone doesnt, but I know I've lost touch with how important this day really is.
So this rememberance day, I will remember, and I will be thankful for all that we have here in Canada. People shouldnt have to live through something as tradegic as that.
Thanks to everyone who gave up their lives to protect ours.
Weirdness.
Why does it seem so hard to feel compassionate right now?
Am I really becoming more jaded..? I used to hate the idea of survival of the fittest...but lets be realistic...if people arent helping themselves, why should I bother worrying? When did I start thinking like this? What happened...I feel so mean...and dry. Maybe I just feel like that today because I'm frustrated.
I kinda feel like a big idiot...but then again it could just be one of those pessimistic days. I didnt feel this bad yesterday? I dont know, I feel kinda just...sad right now. I just need to chill and relax, I'm clearly making too big a deal out of nothing right now. Just need to sleep, which I will do right now. :)
Nights~
I'll be honest.
I'm really surprised. Like...really surprised. In a good way!
At the very least, I'm quite entertained. I dont know how I feel actually. Kinda stupid, kinda happy, kinda stupid for being happy. hahhah.
Sigh, what I a loser I am.
I'm horrible.
Just...yah, wow, I'm so bad! hahaha...
Okay, I'll stop and go back to being a good boy.
