Bye bye Charmed?
Maybe? I wonder if they're actually going to finally end Charmed? My most treasured and beloved pleasure in the world will end. What will I do?!
Well, not all is lost as of yet. So far it's been said that their contracts are out, but also the WB is merging with CBS to make CW...which means that some shows are being cut, some aren't, but maybe they'd resign Charmed. Doubtful since it's been on for so long...but I can hope.
It has been the longest running show with female leads though, so its up there for the feminism! C'mon...one more season Charmed, you can do it!
Lookin' Back.
Wow, things have certainly changed since High School. We're all really growing up and doing things with our lives, or trying to. Things are developing much more than I had previously thought.
I saw some old friends I havent seen in a while. Well, ex-friends. Maybe they're even reading this right now thinking, "I wonder what Brad is going to say?" But I'm sure they're more mature and not doing petty things like that anymore. It made me wonder how they're doing, if they've changed or just progressed into something that they hoped they would. I really hope that they are doing well. I'll admit, it felt awkward to try to make conversation without drudging up old feelings again.
We've really come far since High School havent we? Turning 21 in about a month and...I look back and see what changes I've made...its crazy. I think I've grown up quite a bit since then. It's refreshing to feel this way. I mean, of course, this is a giant work in progress, but its at least progress.
Gota try harder.
Strange re-occuring dream...with a twist!
Okay, so I've been having this dream on and off, but then I realised there was something new in it recently...I'm just posting it for the memory of the dream at least, I suppose it has a certain entertainment value for readers as well...This was just a copy and paste from what I sent to Jason when describing my dream when I just woke up, so if it doesnt sound exciting...sorry.
Dream:
Well, the first part I met brendan at first markham, and we were at the food court, and some computer store was...having a promotion or something..and he was waiting for me to get off work, I think I worked for the computer store..(This was the new part because I'm fairly certain I didnt know Brendan last time I had this dream)
Then blur...
Then there was something about chilling in my bedroom...I dont know if bren was still there, but my sister was. Then I was at Wonderland with my aunt uncle and cousins...Then we went on the mind buster repeatedly, and we were the only people there.
My cousin was riding it really unsafely but I couldnt say anything to him, then finally I did and my uncle got mad at him, I was holding my younger cousin tightly as we went down the rollercoaster and we were screaming and having fun, but that scared kinda fun.
Then we moved on passed some rides that were boring, and it felt like we were in one country than instantly another but in the same theme park...like the entire atmosphere of the place got darker.
Then some strange gay couple was watching me and...someone, i forgot who it was now. And they were watching our drivers liscenes which where now hot pink for some reason. They commented on how it was rounded, and we wanted to avoid contact with these people cause they seemed like circus folk that werent quite right.
We were at some bus station, and then I lost my aunt uncle and cousin, then I hopped onto some transport thing to meet up with them. Then its kinda blurry, then I was in my house.
But it was still part of the theme park, just much more dark and lighted with red and green lights. I walked to my room to look for people I openned the door really quickly, but I noticed light in my sisters room so I shut it quickly but caught a glimpse of a bed with the blankets messed up and everything was red and white in there. An eerie red glow type thing..
But I shut the door and walked to my sisters room where Snow White was. (This was supposed to be a Disney land type thing) Then I was like...uhh...why is snow white in my sisters bed...what the fuck am I supposed to do? Kiss her?! So I left that room, and went back to my room suspicious-like cause i was wondering what was in there with that red and then I had a scary thought that it was blood.
But I figured, its just a theme park, and if it was blood it was probably fake and trying to scare me so I went in. Then somehow I was on the bed, and something started feeling me up but I couldnt see anything. Then some girl sorta faded in ontop of me. And it seemed like it was a scene from a movie or anime and then I sat up as if to push the girl off then she turned into some doll that was really squishy and really didnt end up looking like a girl.
The lights all turned on the red went away, and i threw the doll thing off into a huge pile of other dolls.
Lil Review.
Thought I'd recap a few things that have happened in the passed few days with the consecutive shaft days among other things.
So my TA for Geomorphology is amazing, I love her! Too bad I didnt hand in the lab completed...but at least she's REALLY nice. I'm gonna try to work extra hard to show her that I'm not a screw up and that I will try to repay her niceness. She makes shaft days more bareable! :)
In other news...Party at Brian's place! Damn his new super room thing...or whatever it is, is awesome! Karaoke, swimming, work out centre, bowling, massages, movie theatre, everything! So exciting! Party at Brian's! Hahha, thanks for inviting us to that thing Brian! It was SO cool! I wana live in your building now!...Camel toe is gross.
Lots of DOTA with Christine and Seann. Maybe too much...lol. Silencer! Chen! Pugna! Bristleback thing!...so many good heroes. I need to stop...lol
Stress, dropping course, taking summer courses...this is the plan!
Almost read through an entire book too! I'm reading!...how odd. It's a fairly good book, thank you Josephine! I'll give you a review of it later. I love having a personal librarian.
Need new job. Need new job now. Brad goes on search soon. Very soon. Clothing? Perhaps. We shall see. Want discount...badly.
PSP is amazing! <3 PSP MSN!
Okay, recap pretty much done.
Now, future...cap?
Christine's birthday is coming up, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIFEY! Uncle Rich's 70th birthday is coming up...happy birthday uncle. Hair styling/cutting party tomorrow! Go go Taina Ranger! Midterm and essays and labs next week...QAY event thing coming up that I'll actually be able to go to for once. Shopping tomorrow too! OH YAH! And my new mission for the year.
I'm going to try and do something that challenges me to overcome some sort of irrational fear I have monthly. One per month is the minimum, maybe more if I can think of them. I figure it's a good tool for learning to grow as a person, maybe become mature for once. Taking risks makes life that much more interesting anyway. Sure I might hurt myself, but thats part of life too right? So risk taking year is 2006!...January didnt count...starting February! Anyone wana join me? JOIN ME!
oops
So my template is back...I didnt realize I changed it to some weird preset one...
I wish I could change this one right now...but I dont know HMTL well enough to and I lost my Frontpage so I cant just screw around with it anymore.
Shaft dayssss...I should have left for school like 2hrs ago to go do work early...but instead...hahaha, PROCRASTINATION! WEE!
Oh well...I should go now. Just updating this thing so I can get this damn template back up...god I want to edit it. Anyone have front page they wana give me? :)
Frustration.
Why am I so god damn frustrated?
So many damn things are going on, I just need to seperate myself from it. Too bad I cant because if I seperated myself from school I probably wouldnt go anywhere in life, and I would miss it.
There are so many other things that under my skin right now. Feelings that shouldnt be there, feelings that need to stop. I can stop them, and I will. It just takes sometime but I can do it. There are other feelings that are eatting at me right now...to name a few:
Anger
Resentment
Insecurity
At least the insecurity keeps me humble, and the anger opens my eyes...but the resentment does me no good...no good at all. I hate feeling this upset...but it happens, and I gota accept it... Breathe...
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Fuck you.
Go get a free Ipod!...maybe :P
Check out this site, it couldnt hurt to enter for free things. My sister recently won over $100 worth of lotto tickets for entering a random contest. Enter! I think it benefits me...hahaha.
http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=27339632
Le sigh.
I am sad.
So very frustrated with...a lot of things...so very many things. Growing bitter and hateful? Maybe. What can I do to change all of this? Probably best solution is to move out. Chances of being able to move out any time soon? Slim...very slim.
So what am I supposed to do? I duno...I'm too tired to think and too worn out to give a rats ass. I dont want to go into details cause thats too annoying. For the cherry to top it all off, Valentine's Day is coming up. Although Hallmark created this lovely holiday, I still would enjoy it. I'm sad that always around this time there's no one to shower gifts on, or to shower me with gifts, hahaha. Always around now it happens..? I would love a little gesture for Valentine's day from someone, it'd be so sweet and simple. This is what I appreciate. Or something small like a flower or something. I know its girly but I dont care! hahaha. Maybe stalkers/secret admirers out there will read this and go do that for me! WEE! hahaha, jokes jokes. If I had stalkers or secret admirers, I probably wouldnt be alone right about now. haha!
Wait...I lie, I know I have one stalker...you know who you are! I best be getting something good! Just leave it in the bushes you hide behind in my backyard k? Sweet deal.
God I wish I was more coherent in this stupid blog of mine...but I have no writing skillzzzzzz. The extra z's are cool. Shadup.
So in the spirit of Christmas...I will say this. I am sad...but I will deal and be happy again tomorrow. (Tee hee...get it, in the spirit of Christmas...with wrapping as in I'm wrapping up! hahahah...I shouldnt have explained it and it might have been funnier...fuck you!)
Who wants something frustrating to do?
http://intelligence-test.net/part1/Hahahha. yes...This is very frustrating and makes me feel stoooopid. I only got 19, but with help we did ALL of them...bastages. I hate that thing. So I'll see if you guys can get as annoyed as me, share the pain! :)
