Liking someone...
Messes up your thinking.
Well, at least it messes up mine. It makes me think in a one-track way. I mean...there are so many other ways to take things if you stop to think about it and open up your mind. So many ways to do things. Something is only as serious as you make it yourself.
So if I dont take things so seriously I wont be as stressed about them because they're not as important as I think they are.
Really, everything is quite relative, and I just need to relax and think about things in a more calm matter and not let my emotions get the best of me.
I just gota take a deep breath (hahaha, whenever I write that I actually do) and take it easy.
Man...
I dont know why this doesnt work...
Mother F.
I feel sad.
Why? I dont know why...
What is going on?!
Ya, drawn together is one of the best series I've seen!
Sooo funnie, soooo offensive!
I duno what happened to me, months ago I would be so offended by it, but now I just laugh!
Havent written in this for a while...not even for my birthday! ya, I'm 20 now! The big 2-0! Weird...I dont feel much older...nor do I act much older...but whatever? Its all good I guess. Not too much happened for my b-day tho. Just some good friends and stuff like that.
Cept someoneeeeee didnt come! -_-
Ya, thats right, you know who you are! Disappointed is what I am! :(
hahaha, just kidding...sorta, but its all good, water under the bridge..
Kinda duno whats going on right about now...things are just kinda a little crazy. Well, I guess thats normal nowadays anyway.
So ya, just a tiny update.
Hmm
Hmm...
So ya, I'm not feeling as bad anymore cause just sitting down, playing some X-Men with good old Zipper was some good meds. Just needed to relax and accept that...well, the world kinda blows sometimes. Other times its amazing, other times it blows, its a nice little cycle I guess. Things here have blown enough that something good should happen sometime soon right? :P
hahahaha, well, good things have happened in the passed while. Like me going to be an uncle! Thats frigging awesome. So whatever, things balance out I guess.
Soon I'm going to be an old man...by old, I mean 20 :P
Hahaha, its really not that big of a deal, but ya, its just a number everyone's gotta hit right? It should be fun, hopefully everyone I want to be there will be there. HINT HINT, GET A TRAIN BACK HERE CATHERINE!
hahaha, but everyone else will be here so it'll be awesome anyway.
Anyways...ya, time to sleep. Lab to do tomorrow still. yay.
Whine time.
Okay...why the hell doesnt the system work!?
What goes around is supposed to come around!! I'm losing faith in that idea...I REALLY am.
Life blows sometimes...life fucking blows.
Distractions
Okay, so I'm distracted by two things.
One, something I really dont like, and another, something I do like.
By something, I really mean someone...and its very distracting. I cant concentrate on studying. I realise now that if I dont see or have ANY contact with the loser that annoys me, then I dont care and I can ignore his lameness. Same goes for the person I like...If I dont see them much, I can ignore the feelings and just go on with things as usual...but both these feelings are pretty much not expressable...and this is why I figure they distract me.
I cant tell this person I like them, nor can I tell the person I dont like to fuck off and that they're an idiot.
So I hear them around me constantly...and I'm trying to study...then I get deeply side tracked...
First...I dont really want to like who I do...and second, I dont want to not like the person I dont like. I just want to be able to be calm and happy about everything.
Too bad that I cant...I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.
Career Path
Okay, so before I used to have social work as my backup...and now it seems to me that I want it to be my first choice. Why? Well, I was at the hospital today for my dentist appointment, and I saw some people sitting in the enterance of the hospital that looked really sad. They looked so sad...like hope was drained out of them. I wanted to help them, but I couldnt, I'm not a doctor that can cure them...
I thought about it on the walk back to res, and I thought..well, as a social worker, I can help people who really
need help. I feel it deep down, that I want to do this. It wont pay me much, and it will be a lot of work...but I want to do this. I want to help the people who cant help themselves...
So looks like thats what I'm going to be aiming for. I'm sure if I wanted to work hard enough, I could go into law or medicine...but thats far too technical for what I want to do.
So...looks like this is my goal for now. Hopefully forever and it doesnt change like it normally does.
Hope is alive!
H-okay, so..
I got my sociology mark back and it wasnt nearly as bad as I had thought, it was actually what I hoped it to be! Yes, I am aiming low, but thats besides the point. Yay for UofT and its outrageous standards of excellence! So anyways, I dont feel nearly as bad about school anymore. Assuming I can pull it off for the exam, which I think I can.
In other news, Catherine is back in town! Super fantastic! We spent a long while walking to first markham from my house after playing some gothy vampire bloody game. I'm not used to enjoying randomly cutting off body parts of people with blades and having the blood spurt out like a crazy bloody anime, or...kill bill.
I shoulda studied today, but I didnt...yay Bio! I'll do it all day tomorrow...and the next day...and the next. I have an exciting 3 days ahead of me!
And man...do I appreciate not being an idiot. My bad roommate...poor guy, I do feel sorrie for him and his psychosis, but what can you do? Sad that he never really learned how to keep friends. I figure its some abandonment issue, because he's always alienating them. He gets my pity now...still intertwined with the anger, but at least there's some other feelings towards him now.
Also tried Counterstrike just a few minutes ago with my good roommates egging me on and mocking me because I dont normally play games that are that grusome (with the exception of blood rayne, but they didnt know that :P) I didnt do too badly either! Surprising cause I dont really like first person shooters...but you know, it blows to be above average at everything and not excellent at anything. Yay for that...yay for that. :/
Well, I guess its better than sucking at everything.
