Dreams.

Bleh.

Ever feel like you cant talk to some of the people closest to you and just need a stranger/outsider's input?

For fear of being judged for your thoughts, ridiculed because you know your thoughts are different from those of your friends, and they may not interpret it the same way? Or just you get tired of burdening them with the same shit over and over again? I know everyone would say "Oh, it's not a burden." but it always feels insincere. I dont want to be holding things inside, but sometimes you just dont want to rain on someone's parade or disrupt their course of life, I mean, yah, friends will stop for you, but they shouldnt have to be expected to. I mean, I would do that for a friend if its expected or not, but I would never want to impose that on my friends.

Sometimes people tell me that I should let it out, and just tell everyone to lift the burden off myself...but I feel bad doing that because there can be a lot of shit that I could lay out to be shared, that is probably better left on my back rather than theirs. I mean, some shit I feel just gets repetitive and I'm sure people would be annoyed by it, so why would I wana make other people annoyed and sharing a burden.

Okay, I bet I sound like a huge idiot right now...but I dont care. This sounds like a cry for attention too...but it isnt...at least I dont think it is. Maybe subconsciously, it is, because I would really want someone to share stuff with that doesnt make me feel bad for telling them the shit over and over...I mean, not that they do something outward to make me feel bad, I just feel bad on my own accord because I can feel the sigh of..."Why arent you over this yet?" type thing. I mean, I know it's there...cause I can be like that sometimes too...maybe I'm looking for something that doesnt exist.

Sigh. Oh wells, here's hopin'

posted by Bradimon @ 1:57 p.m.