eh?
Okay...somebody tell me why I can only be irritated by this strange strange little man?!I try to be calm, and I try to be reasonable and nice. But no, really not, it just doesnt work and I end up bottling up a bunch of anger and spewing it out at other people in little bursts for nothing!
This really cant go on. I'm really not going to accomodate this asshole any longer. I know I'm just going to make tomorrow even busier, but holy fucking shit!
I need to be calm and collected to deal with this...i need to be...but I cant...I just cant be not uptight about my god damned bathroom! I feel vicious and mean and hateful, and I dont like it! I think all these reaaally mean things...oh these mean things that I can do...but I dont...I just keep it inside. REALLY not healthy.
I need some aggression relieving things...like...now. By now...i mean NOW. I cant stand the sight, voice, or even the THOUGHT of this person...its sickening...
On the outside, I'm all happy and pleasent like, until something bad happens then I get frustrated and let out the pent up aggression...it started again when we stopped talking and I had to hold in all this anger...
I wish he would leave, I hope there is a solution that can save me...I hate feeling this way...
I feel helpess to some degree...because if I'm mean, then it'll start a whole chain of other mean-ness that I dont want to happen. But then how can I let something (ex. SHIT ON THE SEAT) slide? HOW!? And NOT cleaning it up for over a FUCKING WEEK!?
Maybe I'm just being crazy. Am I being crazy and uptight or am I being mad for a logical reason? I think...if I go with the crazy answer at least maybe I can think that this loser is somewhat of a decent person in some warped twisted way, which would make me feel better because at least I'll know that I'm just crazy...
I feel sometimes that I'm the only sane one in this whole world...but then I think...I must be crazy to even be thinking that. Please let me be crazy...
I'm shaking out of rage right now...funnie thing is...I dont hate this guy. I think he's a huge inconsiderate asshole, but I think he's had a rough upbringing. Doesnt justify anything really, he shouldnt be the asshole that he is, but he is. See...If he wasnt the biggest hypocrit in the world, I would be happy. I mean, we're all hypocrits, but only to some extent. Hell, maybe I'm a huge one and dont know it, but I'm NOTHING compared to this. NOTHING. I mean...the biggest hypocrit I know next to this guy is...really...an insignificant bug compared to him.
Oh boy...oh boy...lord save us all.
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