Dreams.

I have found another main contributer to my mood lately..

Alright...*deep breath* here goes...
I feel extremely alone.........
The word extremely isnt enough to describe how alone I feel...
Yes, I do have a lot of people I can talk to about stuff...but the thing is...well...they're all good friends, but nothing really comes up to hit par...
Maybe I'm setting the bar too high but...okay...none of my closests friends...seem all the close...
Dumcat is a good friend n all, but he and I kno he's selfish, and there's nothing we can really do about that, so i cant really depend on him to care all the time...
Fatez is a good friend too...but he wun wana do nething witout dumcat it seems...I'm sure you dun mean to do this, but I really do feel rejected sometimes...not in the way we were jokin bout...but as a friend...
Antagonist is a good friend too, better than most, I can always depend on you...but you never seem to want to depend on me...? Or intrust much in me...which leaves me feeling kinda distant...
Baby Pixie is a good friend too...but lately, since...beginning of school, there's been a growing distance between us...Its closing itself slowly...
Sandy n Catherine n Carolyn n Ryan n Christine...you guys are all good friends too, but I have this feelin Sandy is startin to kinda get annoyed again, that I havent been hangin wit you guys, n I just feel...really distant cause you guys have been together for a long time...Elementary school (for sandy catherine n carolyn neways)...and then i come in and then its just...hard to jump into friendships like that...ya kno? So ya...
Eric...another good friend...iuno what happened, we drifted far...but now that we have smthg together, its gettin better again...slowly too...
Nathan...another good friend you always seem to busy for me...but yer there, n I'm there for you, its a good relationship if you didnt have such strict parents n a tight schedule...
Vicki...also too busy with things, but you're one of my best, if not my best friend...but we're still not...BEST friends like we should be...

I guess its the same damn issue I've been having for sooooo long...about having a best friend...
even with all these close friends...i still feel so alone...hopefully that should change someday soon...........if you catch my drift...
but iuno...none of these things are your fault guys...its just me I think...I guess I just need to put more effort to be better friends with you...we are all pretty close...so i guess I just need to work more...
well...gonna go...

posted by Bradimon @ 6:46 p.m.