Dreams.

Its getting harder and harder to believe some of the things some people say to me. I mean...sometimes the excuses dont cut it and there are something a mere "I'm sorry" doesnt fix. I duno what I'm going to do anymore. I find it sad that I've had to give up some of my good friends because of this, but I guess thats both my and their decisions, I'm not there, they dont try to get me there. Simple.

Though, good things do sprout from the ashes of those friendships. I've grown closer to other friends, that are genuine and I know that they care. So there is an upside to this I guess?

I'm sure that you guys talk about me a lot behind my back, and I know you all know that I know about this whole 'cones' thing. I find it rather sickening that you people would, though not liking me, go around and make fun of me like that. Honestly, I dont remember ever doing anything bad to any of you. The only possible thing that I could think of that I've done 'bad' (in your eyes) is that confrontation. I apologized for it, but it was for the best of everyone, wahtever, not getting into that again. Point is, I apologized profusely, and I was trying to make it easier for everyone. But whatever, I messed up in the eyes of some people, but ya.

And you cannot say that you dont like me, I know you dont, regardless of what people say. I know one of you posted that racist shit on my board to piss me off, and I also know that one of you posted something about 'cones'. I see no humour in any of those, and it had no other purpose BUT to irritate me. I hope you're happy, you've accomplished your mission. I'm officially irritated. Ya, you're not mad at me, you just like to make fun of me and make things up! I see how it is.

I try not to spread things that people tell me in confidence, and although I do not consider us friends anymore, I do not, and will not ever tell people anything about you or your secrets. I dont see what the FUCK your problem is. I guess maybe its fun to talk about me behind my back, or maybe its fun for you to tell other people things about me. Well, fine, if people wana believe you, they can believe you all they want and not come to me for the real story.

Well, here I am again, thinking about the world. How its a messed up place where people dont care about 'nice' and they only seem to care about 'fun' and not being civil or caring or whatever. I mean, I have done nothing but try to help everyone and make everyone ultimately happy. So whatever, I'll still try to be nice, and still try and help, take advantage if you will, everyone knows the way I am...the human welcome mat.

Well...thats the end I guess.

posted by Bradimon @ 12:50 a.m.