Dreams.

Okay..
I really dun enjoy wasting the FEW days of 'freedom' i have from school...but today I did anyway, and it particularly annoyed me, because something is wrong with me lately, and i havent a FUCKING clue what it is. I lie, I have some idea of what it is, but there's nothing I can do about it, then other things are just piling ontop of it and I really just dont like my situation right now. In conclusion, I'm not putting up with it anymore. What am I gonna do you ask? Well, you'll see. Or rather you wont see...much of me. Or some of you wont. Or maybe none of you will. That will solve my problem. Friends are supposed to be helpful, and fun, and there for you, but I'm not seeing it. I just see myself being dragged down, and tied down because of friends, and 'loyalties' which i dun really think I should have considering I get nothing out of it. I dont care if that selfish of me to say, but thats how friendships work. No effort, all laziness = breaking down of friendships. This isnt directed at any ONE person, but just everyone in general, including myself, because I kno I havent been so effort-ful to everyone. Solution, no more seeing me. That way every gets treated equally, that way I dont have to bother trying to get people together, or 'planning' the unplannable (this would be referring to people). You want me? You call me. No longer will I wait for anyone, no longer will I feel the need to be nice unless it is recipricated. For those of you who dont know what that means, or couldnt understand my shitty spelling of the word, it means that I wun be nice, unless you're nice. I wun do things, unless you do things. Seems a lot of people play it like that, so fine, if you cant beat'em, join'em. Again, not SPECIFICALLY directed at one person, its just you set it off, and you know who you are. With the exception of one person whom i will call out and everyone knows why.

And by the way, its not because of the fact that you made me waste a day that I'm mad about, i know its not TOTALLY your fault, but accept the your part of the blame sometimes and dont just point fingers at someone else. Even IF it was that person's fault (which it wasnt in this case).

In other news, I have MORE zits, and I hate my computer, somebody fix it, my eatting habits have completely been thrown off, I'm sleeping early sometimes, and waking up late, or sleeping late and waking up early, messy regardless, so i'm cranky, my internet is shit, i'm stuck in this game, the final boss is too hard, school is starting again monday, i have tape on my fucking face that i cant take off until friday, I'm getting sick of my MP3's, I'm not getting proper exercise, my room has bad air because of my cat and therefore my nose gets stuffy a lot, my scar pulses every so often giving me a nice jolt of pain, i bet my school marks are going to go down, and i'm not going to get an 80 avg, my hair is getting long and annoying and therefore ugly, no one seems to notice i'm on edge until i actually TELL people i am, lovely observant people, and I'm a pussy, this is the best excuse i can give for my shitty ass mood swings i'm having and my constant cranky-ness.

AND SO, i will go eat my god damn carrots.

posted by Bradimon @ 12:14 a.m.