Dreams.

I spoke too soon when I said I was feeling good.

My friend seems to think that I have been ignoring her, while I've been calling her n stuff still, but iuno...I guess we havent hung out much, but thats not just my fault. I'm still being selfish by only caring about my happiness i guess. I dont think thats so horrible though. This is the new me, I stopped caring about a lot of things in my attempt to become less uptight. Is that so wrong? I still care about my friends, I still try to hang wit'em. Before I was completely miserable caring about everything, and now I'm actually happy and it seems people dont like that. So its either I go back to being my old self and be an uptight prick who's miserable with happy friends, or be me now, less uptight, but still uptight, and happy with unhappy friends. It seems everyone isnt very happy right now. I now know to trust my instincts more than ever. 2/3 times its right...Gawd...its not like I didnt want to invite certain people to the party...Its hard when you have a limit on people who you can invite, and I kno that not everyone likes each other, so they dun want this person here, or that person here...The troubles of being in 3 diff friend groups...I really do want everyone there, I do, trouble is, I cant have everyone at someone else's house, and some people I just didnt get around to telling yet, and now they feel excluded. I feel really bad because I forgot someone to add to the list, and I know they know about the party. Its so unfair...I try to get everyone together and this is what happens...I know "That's life"...I really dont like it when people dont tell me when they're upset with me, or they feel something is wrong and dont tell me...I try to do that...sometimes...well, I guess I dont, but I will now. I trust my friends enough that they can handle it. I dont see why things arent simple. This is why I like Nathan, he and I dun have big problems. He basically dun care bout stupid things I do, n I dun care bout the stupid things he does. It works. But everyone else makes things so complicated. Or maybe I'm making it out to be complicated. Well, the girls are definately complicated. The guys seem fine wit me.

Well...I can safely say that I dont like being me right now. I try SO hard to be good, and to be happy, and to treat people well...but obviously it doesnt work...I try to be there for people...I try...something I fucking try at and I suck at it...great. If only I could be a hermit...o well...I cant, I might as well accept it. Tomorrow I'm just gonna go to school and hold my head high, forget about problems and just live. But not after I apologize to somebody. They deserve my apologizes.

Remind me never to try to get different groups together. Ever.

Now that I'm done whoring bout that...I gota go study for bio. ye haw...my head hurts. And I'm back to the land of being pissed off and unhappy. Well, i guess its unnatural for me to be the only one happy. I think this is the world's way of telling me, that I shouldnt say I'm happy or acknowledge it, cause then it'll just bite my ass.

Tailz's Tip of the Day: Live under the sea

posted by Bradimon @ 10:35 p.m.